Canny One Liners
Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs
this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was "how are you getting on?"
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby
"Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything else"
A gypsy girl sent an email to an agony Aunt "I am 12 years old and
haven't had sex yet, do you think my brother is queer ?"
My missus has just gone into hospital with 2 black eyes and a broken
jaw! It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she
wanted decking on the patio
Sex therapist claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is
to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally I think its bollocks!!
They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are
right. After 8 pints I talk shit and can't drive!
Whats the difference between Basil Brush and a Paki with a rucksack?
The Paki with a rucksack only goes "Boom" once
Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel
in my room disabled" "No" she replies "its just regular porn you sick bastard"
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her
twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!"
A biker goes to the Doctor with hearing problems "Can you describe the symptoms to me"
"Yes.....Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair!!"
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby
"Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything else"
A gypsy girl sent an email to an agony Aunt "I am 12 years old and
haven't had sex yet, do you think my brother is queer ?"
My missus has just gone into hospital with 2 black eyes and a broken
jaw! It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she
wanted decking on the patio
Sex therapist claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is
to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally I think its bollocks!!
They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are
right. After 8 pints I talk shit and can't drive!
Whats the difference between Basil Brush and a Paki with a rucksack?
The Paki with a rucksack only goes "Boom" once
Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel
in my room disabled" "No" she replies "its just regular porn you sick bastard"
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her
twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!"
A biker goes to the Doctor with hearing problems "Can you describe the symptoms to me"
"Yes.....Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair!!"
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