How Many Church Members to Change a Lightbulb
CHARISMATIC: Only one. Hands already in the air.
PENTECOSTALS: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
PRESBYTERIANS: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
ROMAN CATHOLIC: None. Candles only.
BAPTISTS: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
EPISCOPALIANS: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.
NAZARENE: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
LUTHERANS: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
AMISH: What's a light bulb?
JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES: None. The lights are on, but no one's home.
MORMONS: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
PENTECOSTALS: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
PRESBYTERIANS: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
ROMAN CATHOLIC: None. Candles only.
BAPTISTS: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
EPISCOPALIANS: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.
NAZARENE: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
LUTHERANS: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
AMISH: What's a light bulb?
JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES: None. The lights are on, but no one's home.
MORMONS: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
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