The Top 10 Celebrity Sex Videos Nobody Wanted to See

Paris Hilton makes a living by being rich, and her fame was acquired through the raw, brutal power of her dad's money. When her sex tape hit the internet, the media went insane, and even reputable news organizations were giving the story top billing over the most dramatic of world news. She currently works as a professional annoyance, growing ever-richer by the second.

The Upside:

At one point, her boyfriend calls her a scumbag and tells her to just suck it. A few seconds later, we get to hear him cry out, "OW, BITCH!" Hearing her being verbally degraded and hearing him in pain was somewhat worth the viewing.

The Downside:

Paris Hilton is one of the least attractive famous people I can think of. On a scale of Gary Busey to Salma Hayek, I put her just below Steve Buscemi.

It was 37 minutes of Rick Salomon desperately trying to get off while Paris laid lifeless, the only sounds coming from her mouth being in the form of whining and complaints. Rick could have easily recreated the entire scene by constructing a crude Paris Hilton out of modeling clay, humping it until his own body was embossed to the torso. It would have at least afforded him and us the illusion of a smarter Paris with more personality.

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