Lucifer speaking. Who in hell do you want?

Me no here. Me go bye. Leave me message. Me reply.

Suicide Hotline...please hold.

Thank you for reaching out to us. Nobody is home now. However, if you leave a message, we'll reach out and touch you.

This answering machine message is for all you psychics out there... (Long silence...) BEEP

This is 321-1234, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzaria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though.

This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test. Janet Napolitano - Homeland Security

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