Spooge's Spit Up - Why?
Why, Why, Why
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
Why do People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the f**k is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
Why are People willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
Why is it people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". F***ing right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
Why do people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f**k would you keep looking after you've found it?
Why do people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the f***ing floor.
Why do People ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
Why is it people say "life is short". What the f**k?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f***ing does!! What can you do that's longer?
Why is it that when you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Knobhead?
Who do people say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?
Why is it when you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
Why do people announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.
Why do McDonalds staff pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering. It's has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you f***ing McTosser.
Why, when you're involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you alright?' Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.
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