Spooge's Spit Up - Short and Offensive...Maybe

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mother. _________________________________________________________
What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everybody at the party; A bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.
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What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
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What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A mechanic.
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Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
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Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
The one who can eat the last donut.
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The three words men hate to hear most during sex :
"Are you in?"
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The three words women hate to hear most during sex:
"Honey, I'm home!"