Spooge's Spit Up - Fun Quotes

Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye.
(George S. Kaufman)

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
(Eleanor Roosevelt)

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
(Joseph Heller)

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
(Ed Furgol)

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
(Charles Lamb)

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it is written on.
(Sam Goldwyn)