Spooge's Spit Up - Dictionary for Women
Argument (ar*gyou*ment)
n A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed)
n What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q)
n You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes (blond joks)
n Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope)
n Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer)
n An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da)
n A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee)
n The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz)
v To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list)
n What you spend ½ an hour writing, then forget to take to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er)
n Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again.
See "Magician."
Hardware Store (hard*war stor)
n Similar to a black hole in space -- if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth)
n You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breathe...push..."
Lipstick (lip*stik)
n On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
Park (park)
v/n Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience (pa*shens)
n The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children.
See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah)
n Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae)
n A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
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