Spooge's Spit Up - Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE,

SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT.

PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES

BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT

USE THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS

SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES,

THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS.

REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK

WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH,

TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES.

THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE

WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE.

IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40.

IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER

EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER,

YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES

NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING,

BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS

MissBeGotten