Spooge's Spit Up - Real World Descriptions
A programmer
is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
A consultant
is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
A banker
is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)
An economist
is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
A statistician
is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
An actuary
is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
A mathematician
is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. (Charles R. Darwin)
A topologist
is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.
A lawyer
is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."
A psychologist
is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
A professor
is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A schoolteacher
is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.
A diplomat
is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
A consultant
is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
A banker
is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)
An economist
is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
A statistician
is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
An actuary
is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
A mathematician
is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. (Charles R. Darwin)
A topologist
is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.
A lawyer
is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."
A psychologist
is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
A professor
is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A schoolteacher
is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.
A diplomat
is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
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