Spooge's Spit Up - Great Though Slightly Disturbing Posters
Filming for Our Sin City Style Intro
Filming done by Martin Marshall and Chelfyn, hot, pouty poses done by Ms Behaviour and The Mistress.
To view and download full set follow the link to the g33k show blog.
the g33k show Sin City Shoot.
Filming done by Martin Marshall, fancy edity type stuff done by Chelfyn, hot, pouty poses done by Ms Behaviour and The Mistress.
To view and download full set follow the link to lushness.
Mistress
Spooge's Spit Up - Three Sons
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks:
"Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel any more. My eyesight isn't what it used to be. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"
"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was delicious!"
The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks:
"Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel any more. My eyesight isn't what it used to be. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"
"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was delicious!"
Sneaky's Daily Did You Know....? - It's Only Words
The word "Dunce" is taken from the name of a brilliant scholar. Dun Scotus - named after his birthplace of Duns in Scotland - challenged the Church's ideas in the 13th century. But his innovative thoughts were rejected by other scholars after his death. The condemned his teaching as stupid, thus changing the meaning of "dunce"
Sneaks Slip 'N Slang - Queerdo
Origin: Unknown
Definition: quierdo: Freakishly strange person.
Example: Chris stuck a banana up his nose--trying to be a queerdo, I guess.
Definition: quierdo: Freakishly strange person.
Example: Chris stuck a banana up his nose--trying to be a queerdo, I guess.
Spooge's Spit Up - Money Making Plan
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00..
With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.
If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer/wine one year ago, drank all the beer/wine, then turned in the cans/bottles for the aluminium recycling REFUND, you would now have $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. Let people you care about know this and tell them to start now!
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00..
With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.
If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer/wine one year ago, drank all the beer/wine, then turned in the cans/bottles for the aluminium recycling REFUND, you would now have $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. Let people you care about know this and tell them to start now!
Spooge's Spit Up - What Office Inspirational Posters Should Say
TOP 25 SAYINGS WE'D LIKE TO SEE ON THOSE OFFICE INSPIRATIONAL POSTERS
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
We put the "k" in "kwality."
If something doesn't feel right, you're not feeling the right thing.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
A person who smiles in the face of adversity...probably has a scapegoat.
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.
Plagiarism saves time.
If at first you don't succeed, try management.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
We waste time, so you don't have to.
Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
Succeed in spite of management.
Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.
We waste more time by 8:00 in the morning than other companies do all day.
You pretend to work, and we'll pretend to pay you.
Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
We put the "k" in "kwality."
If something doesn't feel right, you're not feeling the right thing.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
A person who smiles in the face of adversity...probably has a scapegoat.
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.
Plagiarism saves time.
If at first you don't succeed, try management.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
We waste time, so you don't have to.
Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
Succeed in spite of management.
Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.
We waste more time by 8:00 in the morning than other companies do all day.
You pretend to work, and we'll pretend to pay you.
Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore.
Spooge's Spit Up - Dumb
"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time."
Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL
"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails."
AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian
"Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there."
Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
Bill Peterson, football coach
"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
Britney Spears, Pop Singer
Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL
"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails."
AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian
"Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there."
Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
Bill Peterson, football coach
"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
Britney Spears, Pop Singer
Sneaky's Daily Did You Know - Body Beautiful
It would cost over $5 billion to programme and sell a computer which could do all the things a human brain does.
The Human brain continues to send out electrical wave signals for up to 37 hours after death
We only use 10% of our brains
There are more signal connections in the human brain than there would be in a telephone exchange connecting everyone in the world
The average brain comprises a mere 2% of a persons total body weight, yet it requires 25% of all the oxygen used by the body
The Neanderthals brain was bigger than yours is.
Your brain is more active while you're sleeping than it is while you're watching TV
The Human brain continues to send out electrical wave signals for up to 37 hours after death
We only use 10% of our brains
There are more signal connections in the human brain than there would be in a telephone exchange connecting everyone in the world
The average brain comprises a mere 2% of a persons total body weight, yet it requires 25% of all the oxygen used by the body
The Neanderthals brain was bigger than yours is.
Your brain is more active while you're sleeping than it is while you're watching TV
Sneaks Slip 'N Slang - Abbamatically
Origin: Abba Slang
Definition: The tendency for an unbearably cloying song to repeat over and over in your head all day after hearing it on the radio.
Example: More Than a Woman has been playing abbamatically in my head since breakfast.
Definition: The tendency for an unbearably cloying song to repeat over and over in your head all day after hearing it on the radio.
Example: More Than a Woman has been playing abbamatically in my head since breakfast.
Spooge's Spit Up - Love Letter
| #206039 (1157/1327) |
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Spooge's Spit Up - Worst Analagies Ever Written
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and 'Jeopardy' comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like 'Second Tall Man.'
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon
They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and 'Jeopardy' comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like 'Second Tall Man.'
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon
Spooge's Spit Up - Great Argument
TOUGH TO ARGUE WITH THIS ONE
Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official, 'You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done.'
The Chief nodded in agreement.
The official continued, 'Considering all these events, in your opinion where did the white man go wrong?'
The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. 'When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine men free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.'
Then the chief leaned back and smiled. 'Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.'
Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official, 'You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done.'
The Chief nodded in agreement.
The official continued, 'Considering all these events, in your opinion where did the white man go wrong?'
The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. 'When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine men free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.'
Then the chief leaned back and smiled. 'Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.'
Sneaky's Daily Did You Know....? - Food for Thought
In 1626, English philosopher Francis Bacon conducted one of the earliest experiments into frozen food. He stuffed a chicken with snow that he could observe whether the cold helped to preserve the bird's flesh. Alas, he caught a fatal chill from handling so much snow!
Sneaks Slip 'N Slang - Respectabiggle-Marshwiggle
Origin: Taken from the wonderous book _The Silver Chair_.
Definition: Used when a very drunk person has said something improperly.
Example: I drunk I'm think. Ha! Respectabiggle-marshwiggle!
Definition: Used when a very drunk person has said something improperly.
Example: I drunk I'm think. Ha! Respectabiggle-marshwiggle!
Lady Sheeq Presents Bella Qween
Words in Motion, Movement that Speaks.
This is the first all female Hip Hop tour group.
These 9 ladies are doing a production of Hip Hop dance, music and performance around New Zealand.
The Auckland show is at Zen on Albert St on the 18th of October 2008.
Tickets on the door are $20 and the first 100 ticket holders through the door get a free Bella Qween mixtape and custom cocktail at the bar.
You can also come as a VIP. Tickets are $100 and this gives you access to the VIP area and Alize Drinks all night.
Email bgirlsheeq@hotmail.com to purchase VIP tickets.
For more info and tour dates follow the link.
Spooge's Spit Up - A Blondes Year in Review
January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said '2-4 years!'
April
Trapped on escalator for hours ..... power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition..... learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.
September
The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it???
October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December
Couldn't call 911 ..... 'duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said '2-4 years!'
April
Trapped on escalator for hours ..... power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition..... learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.
September
The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it???
October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December
Couldn't call 911 ..... 'duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!
Spooge's Spit Up - On Fools
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
Douglas Adams
You don't have to fool all the people all of the time; you just have to fool enough to get elected.
Gerald Barzan
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
Josh Billings
A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him.
Nicholas Boileau
Get the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.
Frank Dane
A man who cannot reason is a fool, a man who will not reason is a bigot, and a man who dare not reason is a slave.
William Drummond
Douglas Adams
You don't have to fool all the people all of the time; you just have to fool enough to get elected.
Gerald Barzan
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
Josh Billings
A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him.
Nicholas Boileau
Get the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.
Frank Dane
A man who cannot reason is a fool, a man who will not reason is a bigot, and a man who dare not reason is a slave.
William Drummond
Sneaky's Daily Did You Know....? - Raining Sprats and Frogs
Dozens of live frogs fell on Leichester, massachusetts, in September 1953. Many were found in gutters and on roofs - proof that they had plunged from the sky.
Sneaks Slip 'N Slang - JAFO
Origin: Paramedic term
Definition: Just Another Fucking Observer. Term for all those student ride-alongs who just want to watch.
Example: Tom and Kurt couldn't figure out why the new JAFO kept showing up for *their* shift.
Definition: Just Another Fucking Observer. Term for all those student ride-alongs who just want to watch.
Example: Tom and Kurt couldn't figure out why the new JAFO kept showing up for *their* shift.
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