Friday Funny
Some darn fool tried stealing my identity. Guess he didn't get what he'd bargained for and sent me a condolence card in the mail today.
In it he wrote:
Dear Chum,
Please accept my humblest of apologies. I am sorry I stole your identity.
First I had a phone installed under your name. The dang thing wouldn't stop ringing! Bill collectors, lawyers, and your cousin Billy called collect from the State Pen every day!
I applied for credit cards but instead of receiving cards I received balance due notices threatening to take me to court if not paid in full within 7 days. I've had to move twice already!
I came home from a night out on the town last week and found your wife and kids sprawled out all over the house. My house is trashed, they've eaten all the food, and they refuse to leave!
I promise to turn my life around and never commit another crime for as long as I live if you will come pick up your family.
I replied:
Nope!
In it he wrote:
Dear Chum,
Please accept my humblest of apologies. I am sorry I stole your identity.
First I had a phone installed under your name. The dang thing wouldn't stop ringing! Bill collectors, lawyers, and your cousin Billy called collect from the State Pen every day!
I applied for credit cards but instead of receiving cards I received balance due notices threatening to take me to court if not paid in full within 7 days. I've had to move twice already!
I came home from a night out on the town last week and found your wife and kids sprawled out all over the house. My house is trashed, they've eaten all the food, and they refuse to leave!
I promise to turn my life around and never commit another crime for as long as I live if you will come pick up your family.
I replied:
Nope!
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