Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."

Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

Billy Wilder

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."