Friendship Kiwi Style

True Friendship "Kiwi Style"

None of that Sissy Crap

Are you tired of those piss weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cute little smiley faces on this card -- Just the stone cold truth of a great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get smashed and plot revenge against the bastards who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you, by giving you copious amounts of alcohol.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will tease you about it every chance I get until you're NOT.

5.... When you are worried -- I will tell you stories about how much worse it could be until you stop whingeing.

6... When you are confused -- I will try to use only little words, and speak very slowly.

7... When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have. 8. When you fall -- I will laugh at your clumsy arse, but I'll help you up as soon as I can get it together again. 9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; because you are my friend.