Dyson
Did You Know....? - Sound & Vision
The average talker sprays about 300 microscopic saliva droplets per minute - that's something like two and a half droplets per word.
Sneak's Slip 'N Slang - Gaff it Up
Origin: American Slang
Definition: to tape something firmly in place
Example: It kept falling off, so we had to gaff it up.
Definition: to tape something firmly in place
Example: It kept falling off, so we had to gaff it up.
Best Balcony Awards - Inner City Living
The results of the UK's Best Balcony Display Award
3rd prize goes to Mrs. Doris Loftus from Brighton.
2nd Prize goes to Esther Cohen from Torquay
1st Prize goes to Wayne and Sharon from Basingstoke
3rd prize goes to Mrs. Doris Loftus from Brighton.
2nd Prize goes to Esther Cohen from Torquay
1st Prize goes to Wayne and Sharon from Basingstoke
A Beautiful Message About Growing Old
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Shit …
I forgot what it was….
Shit …
I forgot what it was….
Friday Funny
Lets Pretend We're Married A man and a woman who had never met before,who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room,they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM , the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying… 'Ma'am,
I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'
'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight… let's pretend that we're married.'
'Wow!…That's a great idea!' he exclaimed.
'Good,' she replied. 'Get your own damn blanket.'
After a moment of silence… he farted.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room,they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM , the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying… 'Ma'am,
I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'
'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight… let's pretend that we're married.'
'Wow!…That's a great idea!' he exclaimed.
'Good,' she replied. 'Get your own damn blanket.'
After a moment of silence… he farted.
Did You Know....? - Screen Legends
Warren Beatty's first job in show business was as a rat catcher. The National Theater at Washington DC, had been plagued by rats (one had even bitten an actor) and the cast persuaded the management to employ an official rat catcher. So 17 year old Beatty, desperate for any kind of job in the theatre, agreed to patrol the alleyway at night.
Sneak's Slip 'N Slang - Mabel
Origin: Unknown
Definition: Or to pull a mabel. To do something ridiculous (like fall in public for no reason, spill food on yourself at a high-class restaurant) or say something extremely old-fashioned or uncool.
Example: AB pulled a Mabel and dropped our Icees on the floor.
Definition: Or to pull a mabel. To do something ridiculous (like fall in public for no reason, spill food on yourself at a high-class restaurant) or say something extremely old-fashioned or uncool.
Example: AB pulled a Mabel and dropped our Icees on the floor.
Understanding South Africans - Tips for 2010
Braai
What is a braai? It is the first thing you will be invited to when you
visit South Africa . A braai is a backyard barbecue and it will take
place whatever the weather. So you will have to go even if it's
raining like mad. At a braai you will be introduced to a substance
known as mieliepap.
Ag
This one of the most useful South African words. Pronounced like the
"ach" in the German "achtung", it can be used to start a reply when
you are asked a tricky question, as in: "Ag, I don't know." Or a sense
of resignation:"Ag OK, I'll have some more mieliepap then." It can
stand alone too as a signal of irritation.
Donner
A rude word, it comes from the Afrikaans "donder" (thunder).
Pronounced "dorner", it means "beat up." A team member in your rugby
team can get donnered in a game, or your wife can donner you if you
come back from a braai at three in the morning.
Eina
Widely used by all language groups, this word, derived from the
Afrikaans, means "ouch." Pronounced "aynah".You can say it in
sympathy when you see your friend the day after he got donnered by his
wife.
Hey
Often used at the end of a sentence to emphasize the importance of
what has just been said, as in "You're only going to get donnered if
you come in late again, hey?" It can also stand alone as aquestion.
Instead of saying "excuse me?" or "pardon me?" when you have not heard
something directed at you, you can always say: "Hey?"
Izit?
This is another great word to use in conversations. Derived from the
two words "is" and "it", it can be used when you have nothing to
contribute if someone tells you something at a braai. For instance, if
someone would say: "The Russians will succeed in their bid for
capitalism once they adopt a work ethic and respect for private
ownership." It is quite appropriate to respond by saying:"Izit?"
Ja well no fine
This is another conversation fallback. Derived from the four words:
"yes", "well", "no" and fine",it roughly means "OK". If your bank
manager tells you your account is overdrawn, you can, with confidence,
say: "Jawelnofine."
Klap
Pronounced "klup" - an Afrikaans word meaning smack,whack or spank.
If you spend too much time in front of the TV during exam time,you
could end up getting a "klap" from your mother. In America, that is
called child abuse. In South Africa , it is called promoting education.
But to get "lekker geklap" is to get motherlessly drunk.
Lekker
An Afrikaans word meaning nice, this word is used by all language
groups to express approval. If you enjoyed a braai thoroughly,you can
say: "Now that was lekk-errrrrrr!" while drawing out the last
syllable.
Tackies
These are sneakers or running shoes. The word is also used to describe
automobile or truck tyres. "Fat tackies" are reallywide tyres, as in:
"You've got lekker fat tackies on your Vôlla, hey?"
Dop
This word has two basic meanings, one good and one bad. First the
good: A dop is a drink, a cocktail, a sundowner, a noggin. When
invited for a dop, be careful! It could be one sedate drink or a
blast, depending on the company. Now the bad: To dop is to fail.If
you "dopped" standard two (Grade 4) more than once, you probably won't
be reading this.
Saamie
This is a sandwich. For generations, school- children have traded
"saamies" during lunch breaks. In South Africa you don't send your kid
to school with liver-polony saamies. They are impossible to trade!!
Bakkie
This word is pronounced "bucky" and can refer to asmall truck or
pick-up. If a young man takes his "girl" (date) in a bakkie it could
be considered as a not so "lekker" form of transport because the seats
can't recline.
Howzit
This is a universal South African greeting, and you will hear this
word throughout the country. It is often accompanied with the word
"Yes!" as in: "Yes, howzit?". In which caseyou answer "No, fine."
Now now
In much of the outside world, this is a comforting phrase:"Now now,
it's really not so bad." But in South Africa , this phrase is used in
the following manner: "Just wait, I'll be there nownow." It means "a
little after now".
Tune grief
To be tuned grief is to be aggravated, harassed. For example, if you
argue with somebody about a rugby game at a braai and the person had
too much dop (is a little "geklap"), he might easilyget aggravated
and say.: "You're tuning me grief, hey!". To continue the argument
after this could be unwise and result in major tuning of grief..
Boet
This is an Afrikaans word meaning "brother" which is shared by all
language groups. Pronounced "boot" but shorter, as in"foot", it can
be applied to a brother or any person of the male sex. For instance a
father can call his son "boet" and friends can apply the term to each
other too. Sometimes the diminutive "boetie" is used.But don't use it
on someone you hardly know - it will be thought patronizing and could
lead to you getting a "lekker klap".
Pasop
From the Afrikaans phrase meaning "Watch Out!", this warning is used
and heeded by all language groups. As in: "The boss hasn't had his
coffee yet - so you better pasop boet" Sometimes just the word
"pasop!" is enough without further explanation.Everyone knows it sets
out a line in the sand not to be crossed.
Skop, Skiet en donner
Literally "kick, shoot and thunder", this phrase is usedby many South
African speakers to describe action movies. A Clint Eastwood movie is
always a good choice if you're in the mood for of a lekker skop,skiet
en donner flick.
Vrot
Pronounced - "frot". A expressive word which means"rotten" or
"putrid" in Afrikaans, it is used by all language groups to describe
anything they really dislike. Most commonly intended to describe fruit
or vegetables whose shelf lives have long expired, but a pair of old
tackies (sneakers) worn a few years too long can be termed "vrot" by
some unfortunate folk which find themselves in the same vicinity as
the wearer. Also a rugby player who misses important kicks or tackles
can be said to have played a vrot game - opposite to a"lekker" game
(but not to his face). A movie was once reviewed with this headline:
"Slick Flick, Vrot Plot."
Rock up
To rock up is to just, sort of arrive (called "gatecrash" in other
parts of the world). You don't make an appointment or tell anyone you
are coming - you just rock up. Friends can do that but you have to be
selective about it. For example, you can't just rock up for a job
interview.
Scale
To scale something is to steal it. A person who is"scaly" has a
doubtful character, is possibly a scumbag, and should rather be left
off the invitation list to your next braai.
Ja-nee
"Yes No" in English. Politics in South Africahas always been
associated with family arguments and in some cases even with physical
fights. It is believed that this expression originated with a family
member who didn't want to get a klap or get donnerred, so he just
every now and then muttered "ja-nee". Use it when you are required to
respond, but would rather not choose to agree or disagree.
What is a braai? It is the first thing you will be invited to when you
visit South Africa . A braai is a backyard barbecue and it will take
place whatever the weather. So you will have to go even if it's
raining like mad. At a braai you will be introduced to a substance
known as mieliepap.
Ag
This one of the most useful South African words. Pronounced like the
"ach" in the German "achtung", it can be used to start a reply when
you are asked a tricky question, as in: "Ag, I don't know." Or a sense
of resignation:"Ag OK, I'll have some more mieliepap then." It can
stand alone too as a signal of irritation.
Donner
A rude word, it comes from the Afrikaans "donder" (thunder).
Pronounced "dorner", it means "beat up." A team member in your rugby
team can get donnered in a game, or your wife can donner you if you
come back from a braai at three in the morning.
Eina
Widely used by all language groups, this word, derived from the
Afrikaans, means "ouch." Pronounced "aynah".You can say it in
sympathy when you see your friend the day after he got donnered by his
wife.
Hey
Often used at the end of a sentence to emphasize the importance of
what has just been said, as in "You're only going to get donnered if
you come in late again, hey?" It can also stand alone as aquestion.
Instead of saying "excuse me?" or "pardon me?" when you have not heard
something directed at you, you can always say: "Hey?"
Izit?
This is another great word to use in conversations. Derived from the
two words "is" and "it", it can be used when you have nothing to
contribute if someone tells you something at a braai. For instance, if
someone would say: "The Russians will succeed in their bid for
capitalism once they adopt a work ethic and respect for private
ownership." It is quite appropriate to respond by saying:"Izit?"
Ja well no fine
This is another conversation fallback. Derived from the four words:
"yes", "well", "no" and fine",it roughly means "OK". If your bank
manager tells you your account is overdrawn, you can, with confidence,
say: "Jawelnofine."
Klap
Pronounced "klup" - an Afrikaans word meaning smack,whack or spank.
If you spend too much time in front of the TV during exam time,you
could end up getting a "klap" from your mother. In America, that is
called child abuse. In South Africa , it is called promoting education.
But to get "lekker geklap" is to get motherlessly drunk.
Lekker
An Afrikaans word meaning nice, this word is used by all language
groups to express approval. If you enjoyed a braai thoroughly,you can
say: "Now that was lekk-errrrrrr!" while drawing out the last
syllable.
Tackies
These are sneakers or running shoes. The word is also used to describe
automobile or truck tyres. "Fat tackies" are reallywide tyres, as in:
"You've got lekker fat tackies on your Vôlla, hey?"
Dop
This word has two basic meanings, one good and one bad. First the
good: A dop is a drink, a cocktail, a sundowner, a noggin. When
invited for a dop, be careful! It could be one sedate drink or a
blast, depending on the company. Now the bad: To dop is to fail.If
you "dopped" standard two (Grade 4) more than once, you probably won't
be reading this.
Saamie
This is a sandwich. For generations, school- children have traded
"saamies" during lunch breaks. In South Africa you don't send your kid
to school with liver-polony saamies. They are impossible to trade!!
Bakkie
This word is pronounced "bucky" and can refer to asmall truck or
pick-up. If a young man takes his "girl" (date) in a bakkie it could
be considered as a not so "lekker" form of transport because the seats
can't recline.
Howzit
This is a universal South African greeting, and you will hear this
word throughout the country. It is often accompanied with the word
"Yes!" as in: "Yes, howzit?". In which caseyou answer "No, fine."
Now now
In much of the outside world, this is a comforting phrase:"Now now,
it's really not so bad." But in South Africa , this phrase is used in
the following manner: "Just wait, I'll be there nownow." It means "a
little after now".
Tune grief
To be tuned grief is to be aggravated, harassed. For example, if you
argue with somebody about a rugby game at a braai and the person had
too much dop (is a little "geklap"), he might easilyget aggravated
and say.: "You're tuning me grief, hey!". To continue the argument
after this could be unwise and result in major tuning of grief..
Boet
This is an Afrikaans word meaning "brother" which is shared by all
language groups. Pronounced "boot" but shorter, as in"foot", it can
be applied to a brother or any person of the male sex. For instance a
father can call his son "boet" and friends can apply the term to each
other too. Sometimes the diminutive "boetie" is used.But don't use it
on someone you hardly know - it will be thought patronizing and could
lead to you getting a "lekker klap".
Pasop
From the Afrikaans phrase meaning "Watch Out!", this warning is used
and heeded by all language groups. As in: "The boss hasn't had his
coffee yet - so you better pasop boet" Sometimes just the word
"pasop!" is enough without further explanation.Everyone knows it sets
out a line in the sand not to be crossed.
Skop, Skiet en donner
Literally "kick, shoot and thunder", this phrase is usedby many South
African speakers to describe action movies. A Clint Eastwood movie is
always a good choice if you're in the mood for of a lekker skop,skiet
en donner flick.
Vrot
Pronounced - "frot". A expressive word which means"rotten" or
"putrid" in Afrikaans, it is used by all language groups to describe
anything they really dislike. Most commonly intended to describe fruit
or vegetables whose shelf lives have long expired, but a pair of old
tackies (sneakers) worn a few years too long can be termed "vrot" by
some unfortunate folk which find themselves in the same vicinity as
the wearer. Also a rugby player who misses important kicks or tackles
can be said to have played a vrot game - opposite to a"lekker" game
(but not to his face). A movie was once reviewed with this headline:
"Slick Flick, Vrot Plot."
Rock up
To rock up is to just, sort of arrive (called "gatecrash" in other
parts of the world). You don't make an appointment or tell anyone you
are coming - you just rock up. Friends can do that but you have to be
selective about it. For example, you can't just rock up for a job
interview.
Scale
To scale something is to steal it. A person who is"scaly" has a
doubtful character, is possibly a scumbag, and should rather be left
off the invitation list to your next braai.
Ja-nee
"Yes No" in English. Politics in South Africahas always been
associated with family arguments and in some cases even with physical
fights. It is believed that this expression originated with a family
member who didn't want to get a klap or get donnerred, so he just
every now and then muttered "ja-nee". Use it when you are required to
respond, but would rather not choose to agree or disagree.
Pork Chops
In a zoo in California, a female tiger gave birth to a rare set of triplet tiger cubs. Unfortunately, due to complications in the pregnancy, the cubs were born prematurely and due to their tiny size, they died shortly after birth.
The mother tiger, after recovering from the delivery, suddenly started to decline in health, although physically she was fine. The veterinarians felt that the loss of her litter had caused the tigress to fall into a depression. The doctors decided that if the tigress could foster another mother's cubs, perhaps she would improve.
After checking with many other zoos across the country, the depressing news was that there were no tiger cubs of the right age to introduce to the mourning mother. The veterinarians decided to try something that had never been tried in a zoo environment. Sometimes a mother of one species will take on the care of a different species.
The only 'orphans' that could be found quickly were a litter of weanling pigs. The zoo-keepers and vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin and placed the babies around the mother tiger. Would they become cubs or pork chops?
Take a look...you won't believe your eyes!!
Did You Know....? - Made in Britain
When the water level is very low at Ladybower Reservoir in Derbyshire, a church spire appears above the surface. It is the only vivible remains of the villages of Ashopton and Derwent, both of which were flooded when the reservoir was filled in 1943
Sneak's Slip 'N Slang - Bahookie
Origin: Scottish Slang
Definition: backside
Example: Don’t just sit there on your bahookie. Get up and help.
Definition: backside
Example: Don’t just sit there on your bahookie. Get up and help.
12 Curious Facebook Fan Pages
10. I hate how EVERYTHING has a “fan” page
Members: 110
“for everyone who hates how everything has its own fan page, become a fan of this page.”
To read the rest of the article, CLICK HERE
Q&A From the America Association of Retired People
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-60 year-old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep More soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-60 year-old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep More soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
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