Political Correctness for Kids

* Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's "passage restrictive."

* Kids don't get in trouble anymore; they merely hit "social speed bumps."

* You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

* You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

* No one's tall anymore; they're "vertically enhanced."

* You're not shy; you're "conversationally selective."

* You don't talk a lot; you're just "abundantly verbal."

* It's not called gossip anymore; it's "speedy transmission of near-factual information."

* The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful; it's "digestively challenged."

* Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

* You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."

* These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically disinclined."

* No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

* Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

* You're not sleeping in class; you're "rationing consciousness."

* You don't have smelly gym socks; you have "odor retentive athletic footwear."

* You weren't passing notes in class; you were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

* You're not being sent to the principal's office; you're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building.

MissBeGotten