Tuckers Law
A Pleased Psychic
I am not a believer in seances, but I went to one just to see what they are like. The psychic was doing his thing and grinning from ear to ear. I assumed his merriment was due to the fact that he was fooling a gullible public and gave him a poke in the nose. You can probably guess the rest.
I was arrested for striking a happy medium.
I was arrested for striking a happy medium.
Problem with a Dog
Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle.
Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle.
Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle.
The Net is Slow
Oh, the network outside is frightful,
But on campus, it's so delightful,
Our packets have nowhere to go,
Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.
It doesn't show signs of stopping,
All our packets, our hosts are dropping;
Bandwidth is turned way down low,
Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.
When we finally connect to a site,
It's time to go back to the dorm;
But if I could stay here all night,
I could submit their Web form.
The network is slowly dying,
And, I fear, we're still denying,
But as long as Sprint is the way to go,
Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.
But on campus, it's so delightful,
Our packets have nowhere to go,
Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.
It doesn't show signs of stopping,
All our packets, our hosts are dropping;
Bandwidth is turned way down low,
Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.
When we finally connect to a site,
It's time to go back to the dorm;
But if I could stay here all night,
I could submit their Web form.
The network is slowly dying,
And, I fear, we're still denying,
But as long as Sprint is the way to go,
Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.
Borrowed the Car
After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been returned.
There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert. The note reads, "I apologize for taking your car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience. Here are two tickets for tonight's concert of Garth Brooks, the country-and-western music star."
Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late. They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from thoughout the house, from basement to attic. And, there is a note on the door reading, "Well, you still have your car. I have to put my newly born kid through college somehow, don't I?"
There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert. The note reads, "I apologize for taking your car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience. Here are two tickets for tonight's concert of Garth Brooks, the country-and-western music star."
Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late. They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from thoughout the house, from basement to attic. And, there is a note on the door reading, "Well, you still have your car. I have to put my newly born kid through college somehow, don't I?"
Friday Man Babe - Thomas Jane
Bio: “I’m of the mind that life is a risk. Everytime you leave your house, it’s a risk. I see no reason to go through life with my hands behind my back for any reason. It doesn’t mean I’d be stupid or foolish but I wouldn’t let anything stop me that I felt I could do. Risks are what make life a real thrill,” shares Jane.
Jane made his film debut in the film Padamati Sandhya Ragam (1986). He went on to appear in other high profile films such as The Crow: City of Angels (1996) Boogie Nights (1997), The Thin Red Line (1998), Thursday (1998) and Magnolia (1999). His breakthrough role came in 2001 when he played the lead role of Mickey Mantle in the film 61*. He then landed the lead role in Stander in 2003. Jane does stage work as well as work in film. He has received strong critical reviews in The Glass Menagerie as well as All My Sons. Jane’s current film is Killshot (2009). He also has to upcoming films, The Dark Country and Give ‘em Hell, Malone. Jane is also starring in the new series Hung.
Friday Funny
Reverse Psychology
A woman's husband comes home hammered every night, and she always yells at him before going to bed alone.
One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she's waiting for him in her best lingerie. She sits him in an armchair and gives him a back rub.
"It's getting late, big boy," she says after a few minutes. "Why don't we go upstairs to bed?"
"We might as well," slurs the husband. "I'm going to be in trouble when I get home, anyway."
A woman's husband comes home hammered every night, and she always yells at him before going to bed alone.
One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she's waiting for him in her best lingerie. She sits him in an armchair and gives him a back rub.
"It's getting late, big boy," she says after a few minutes. "Why don't we go upstairs to bed?"
"We might as well," slurs the husband. "I'm going to be in trouble when I get home, anyway."
Did You Know....? - Dog Tales
Canine Movie Star Rin Tin Tin had a valet, a personal chef, a limousine and a chauffeur for his own exclusive use. The dog also had his own five-room dressing room complex on the studio lot.
Sneak's Slip 'N Slang - O-Dark Hundred Hours
Origin: American Slang
Definition: very early in the morning
Example: I have to get up at o-dark-hundred hours if I want to be on time for my flight.
Definition: very early in the morning
Example: I have to get up at o-dark-hundred hours if I want to be on time for my flight.
Messy Husband
A woman said to her friend, "I don't know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can't imagine. He doesn't put anything in its place, I am always going around the house organizing things."
The friend says, "Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, 'Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'"
The first woman asked, "Did it help?"
Her friend said, "I don't know. I haven't seen him since."
Afraid Little Boy
A little boy was afraid of dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark."
The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. you don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there He'll look after you and protect you."
The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?"
"Yes, I'm sure . He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him." she said.
The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"
The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. you don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there He'll look after you and protect you."
The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?"
"Yes, I'm sure . He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him." she said.
The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"
Cat in Heaven
Cat in Heaven
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met the animal at the Pearly Gates and said, "You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking."
The cat thought for a moment and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard, wooden floors... I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on."
God said, "Say no more." Instantly, the cat had a HUGE fluffy pillow.
A few days later, 12 mice were simultaneously killed in an accident and they all went up to Heaven together. God met the mice at the Gates of Heaven, with the exact same offer that He made to the cat.
The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives... from cats, dogs, and even from people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller-skates, we would never have to run again."
God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller-skates.
About a week later, God decided to check on the cat... He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?"
The cat replied, "Oh, everything is just WONDERFUL... I've never been so happy in my life! My pillow is always fluffy and those little "Meals-on-Wheels" that You have been sending over are delicious. "
The cat thought for a moment and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard, wooden floors... I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on."
God said, "Say no more." Instantly, the cat had a HUGE fluffy pillow.
A few days later, 12 mice were simultaneously killed in an accident and they all went up to Heaven together. God met the mice at the Gates of Heaven, with the exact same offer that He made to the cat.
The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives... from cats, dogs, and even from people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller-skates, we would never have to run again."
God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller-skates.
About a week later, God decided to check on the cat... He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?"
The cat replied, "Oh, everything is just WONDERFUL... I've never been so happy in my life! My pillow is always fluffy and those little "Meals-on-Wheels" that You have been sending over are delicious. "
Fancy Watch
Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks "Have you got the time?"
Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says.
"Hey, that's a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims the stranger.
Jake brightens a little. "Yeah, it's not bad. Check this out" - and he shows him a time zone display not just for every time zone in the world, but for the 86 largest metropoli. He hits a few buttons and from somewhere on the watch a voice says "The time is eleven 'til six" in a very West Texas accent. A few more buttons and the same voice says something in Japanese. Jake continues "I've put in regional accents for each city". The display is unbelievably high quality and the voice is simply astounding.
The stranger is struck dumb with admiration. "That's not all," says Jake. He pushes a few more buttons and a tiny but very hi-resolution map of New York City appears on the display. "The flashing dot shows our location by satellite positioning," explains Jake. "View recede ten," Jake says, and the display changes to show eastern New York state.
"I want to buy this watch!" says the stranger.
"Oh, no, it's not ready for sale yet; I'm still working out the bugs," says the inventor. "But look at this," and he proceeds to demonstrate that the watch is also a very creditable little FM radio receiver with a digital tuner, a sonar device that can measure distances up to 125 meters, a pager with thermal paper printout and most impressive of all, the capacity for voice recordings of up to 300 standard-size books," though I only have 32 of my favorites in there so far" says Jake.
"I've got to have this watch!" says the stranger.
"No, you don't understand; it's not ready."
"I'll give you $1000 for it!"
"Oh, no, I've already spent more than that."
"I'll give you $5000 for it!"
"But it's just not fair."
"I'll give you $15,000 for it!" And the stranger pulls out a checkbook. Jake stops to think. He's only put about $8500 into materials and development, and with $15 000 he can make another one and have it ready for merchandising in only six months. The stranger frantically finishes writing the check and waves it in front of him. "Here it is, ready to hand to you right here and now. $15,000. Take it or leave it." Jake abruptly makes his decision. "OK," he says and peels off the watch. They make the exchange and the stranger starts happily away.
"Hey, wait a minute," calls Jake after the stranger, who turns around warily. Jake points to the two suitcases he'd been trying to wrestle through the bus station. "Don't forget your batteries."
Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says.
"Hey, that's a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims the stranger.
Jake brightens a little. "Yeah, it's not bad. Check this out" - and he shows him a time zone display not just for every time zone in the world, but for the 86 largest metropoli. He hits a few buttons and from somewhere on the watch a voice says "The time is eleven 'til six" in a very West Texas accent. A few more buttons and the same voice says something in Japanese. Jake continues "I've put in regional accents for each city". The display is unbelievably high quality and the voice is simply astounding.
The stranger is struck dumb with admiration. "That's not all," says Jake. He pushes a few more buttons and a tiny but very hi-resolution map of New York City appears on the display. "The flashing dot shows our location by satellite positioning," explains Jake. "View recede ten," Jake says, and the display changes to show eastern New York state.
"I want to buy this watch!" says the stranger.
"Oh, no, it's not ready for sale yet; I'm still working out the bugs," says the inventor. "But look at this," and he proceeds to demonstrate that the watch is also a very creditable little FM radio receiver with a digital tuner, a sonar device that can measure distances up to 125 meters, a pager with thermal paper printout and most impressive of all, the capacity for voice recordings of up to 300 standard-size books," though I only have 32 of my favorites in there so far" says Jake.
"I've got to have this watch!" says the stranger.
"No, you don't understand; it's not ready."
"I'll give you $1000 for it!"
"Oh, no, I've already spent more than that."
"I'll give you $5000 for it!"
"But it's just not fair."
"I'll give you $15,000 for it!" And the stranger pulls out a checkbook. Jake stops to think. He's only put about $8500 into materials and development, and with $15 000 he can make another one and have it ready for merchandising in only six months. The stranger frantically finishes writing the check and waves it in front of him. "Here it is, ready to hand to you right here and now. $15,000. Take it or leave it." Jake abruptly makes his decision. "OK," he says and peels off the watch. They make the exchange and the stranger starts happily away.
"Hey, wait a minute," calls Jake after the stranger, who turns around warily. Jake points to the two suitcases he'd been trying to wrestle through the bus station. "Don't forget your batteries."
From the Mouth of 1957
Thought you might like to see these!!! Comments made in the year 1957:
"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20."
"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $5000 will only buy a used one."
"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."
"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"
"If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."
"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage."
"Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."
"I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying 'damn' in 'Gone With The Wind,' it seems every new movie has either "hell" or "damn" in it.
"I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas."
"Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president."
"I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."
"It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet."
"It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."
"Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more; those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat."
"I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business."
"Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress."
"The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on."
"There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel."
"No one can afford to be sick any more; $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood."
"If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it."
Know friends who would get a kick out of these? Pass it on!
"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20."
"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $5000 will only buy a used one."
"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."
"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"
"If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."
"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage."
"Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."
"I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying 'damn' in 'Gone With The Wind,' it seems every new movie has either "hell" or "damn" in it.
"I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas."
"Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president."
"I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."
"It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet."
"It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."
"Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more; those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat."
"I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business."
"Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress."
"The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on."
"There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel."
"No one can afford to be sick any more; $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood."
"If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it."
Know friends who would get a kick out of these? Pass it on!
Wisdom
"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Know thyself."
Linnaeus
"The two most abundant things in the universe are Hydrogren and stupidity."
Harlan Ellison
"Question everything. Learn something. Answer nothing."
Engineer's Motto
"You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think."
Dorothy Parker
"Apologizing - a very desperate habit - one that is rarely cured. Apology is only egotism wrong side out."
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., The Professor at the Breakfast-Table
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Know thyself."
Linnaeus
"The two most abundant things in the universe are Hydrogren and stupidity."
Harlan Ellison
"Question everything. Learn something. Answer nothing."
Engineer's Motto
"You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think."
Dorothy Parker
"Apologizing - a very desperate habit - one that is rarely cured. Apology is only egotism wrong side out."
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., The Professor at the Breakfast-Table
Did You Know....? - All At Sea
A ship called the Resolute once made a 1000 mile journey without any crew. Part of an 1852 expedition which left England in search of the North-West Passage, the Resolute was abandoned when it became stuck in ice off the north coast of Canada. The ship was seen 474 days later by the commander of an American Whaler, 1000 miles to the east. Apart from shipping a little water, the Resolute was in excellent condition.
Sneak's Slip 'N Slang - ShyPod
Origin: American Slang
Definition: to be hesitant to share the contents of ones iPod due to embarrassment
Example: John’s was shyPod because he had just downloaded a bunch of disco music to his iPod.
Definition: to be hesitant to share the contents of ones iPod due to embarrassment
Example: John’s was shyPod because he had just downloaded a bunch of disco music to his iPod.
Office Manager
The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What's your name?" he asked the new guy.
"John," the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, Baker ... That's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed, "Darling. My name is John Darling."
"Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . . "
"John," the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, Baker ... That's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed, "Darling. My name is John Darling."
"Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . . "
In Court
My boss is without peer when it comes to the rules and regulations that customs officials must follow. But when it comes to the law, well, that's a different story.
We were attending a court case in which we were prosecuting a smuggler. The judge asked the court, "Who is making these allegations?"
My boss stood up and proclaimed, "I am the alligator, your honor."
We were attending a court case in which we were prosecuting a smuggler. The judge asked the court, "Who is making these allegations?"
My boss stood up and proclaimed, "I am the alligator, your honor."
Jedi Masters
Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinese restaurant having a meal. Skillfully using his chopsticks, Obi-Wan deftly dishes him- self a large portion of noodles into his bowl, then tops it off with some chicken and cashew nuts. All this is done with consummate ease you'd expect from a Jedi Master.
Poor old Luke is having a nightmare, using his chopsticks in both hands, dropping his food all over the table and eventually himself.
Obi-Wan looks at Luke disapprovingly and says, "Use the FORKS, Luke."
Poor old Luke is having a nightmare, using his chopsticks in both hands, dropping his food all over the table and eventually himself.
Obi-Wan looks at Luke disapprovingly and says, "Use the FORKS, Luke."
If Your Living In Pensylvannia
Living in Pennsylvania
-- If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Bradford is the coldest spot in the nation, you live in Pennsylvania.
-- If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you live in Pennsylvania.
-- If you walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you live in Pennsylvania.
and there's even more of these...
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Pennsylvanian when:
1. "Vacation" means going up north past I-80 for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave all the doors unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons: almost fall, winter, still winter and road construction.
12. You can discriminate between a "Lancaster" or an "Allentown" accent.
13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a concrete statue of a deer next to your blue spruce. It's shot up several times each hunt'n season...
14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
15. Down South to you means West Virginia.
16. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his NEW FORD F150.
18. You go out to the big Howard Johnsons fish fry every Friday and bingo at the Catholic Church every Wednesday.
19. Your 4TH of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
21. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Pennsylvania friends! (Hee, hee!)
-- If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you live in Pennsylvania.
-- If you walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you live in Pennsylvania.
and there's even more of these...
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Pennsylvanian when:
1. "Vacation" means going up north past I-80 for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave all the doors unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons: almost fall, winter, still winter and road construction.
12. You can discriminate between a "Lancaster" or an "Allentown" accent.
13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a concrete statue of a deer next to your blue spruce. It's shot up several times each hunt'n season...
14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
15. Down South to you means West Virginia.
16. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his NEW FORD F150.
18. You go out to the big Howard Johnsons fish fry every Friday and bingo at the Catholic Church every Wednesday.
19. Your 4TH of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
21. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Pennsylvania friends! (Hee, hee!)
Did You Know....? - Barking Mad
Eminent Scientist Henry Cavendish was painfully shy. He built a private entrance to his London house so that he could come and go without meeting anyone, and used to communicate with his servants by notes only. On one occasion, he was so disturbed after bumping in to a maid on the staircase that he immediately ordered the building of another staircase.
Sneak's Slip 'N Slang - Bog-Standard
Origin: English Slang
Definition: normal; average; typical
Example: My weekend was anything but bog-standard.
Definition: normal; average; typical
Example: My weekend was anything but bog-standard.
One More Wish
A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray and said, "And what will your third wish be?"
The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?"
"You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left."
"Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the heck. I wish I were irresistible to women."
"Funny," said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever. "That was your first wish, too!"
The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?"
"You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left."
"Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the heck. I wish I were irresistible to women."
"Funny," said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever. "That was your first wish, too!"
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