10 Most Annoying Things About Facebook

Sure, Facebook can be a lot of fun. It's a great way to reconnect with lost friends and to keep up with people on the fringes of your social circle. And as far as workday distractions go, there's nothing better.

It's hardly a perfect service, though. Minor aggravations add up fast and can drive you nuts. We've combed through the annoyances to find the ten annoyances that bug people the most.

1st Problem: Constant interface changes

Why it's annoying: Granted, innovation is necessary to avoid becoming stale, but sometimes you're better off leaving well enough alone. Facebook has radically overhauled its front page so many times that it's hard to keep count. Just as the anger dies down over one design, the site changes things again -- and confusion sets in. What's the difference between "News feed" and "Live feed"? And why can't Facebook remember which I prefer?

Possible solution: Sadly, there's not much you can do about this -- except wait for the next face-lift.

2nd Problem: Inappropriate automated friend suggestions

Why it's annoying: Friend suggestions can be handy, but when Facebook tries to push an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend on you, it's kind of awkward. Similarly, if you've had a major falling-out with someone who has mutual friends, you're bound to see their face pop up in the 'suggestion' field at some point. It makes a clean break that much harder to get.

Possible solution: The little "x" to the right will make the suggestion go away forever. To prevent further frustration, you might want to also click "see all" and weed out any other offending names.

3rd Problem: Never-ending game invitations

Why it's annoying: 'Farmville' and 'Mafia Wars' might be fun, but if you don't want to play them, the constant invites are infuriating. Many Facebook games are like Ponzi schemes; the way to succeed is to get more people playing. And once you've managed to filter out one game, another pops up.

Possible solution: It's not too hard to hide the requests and invitations for these games. Just click "Block this application" when you get the first invite. Then, hover over the updates that are clogging your news feed, and click "Hide" when the word appears.

4th Problem: Political fights

Why it's annoying: Between cable news and talk radio, it's hard enough to hide the squabbling between the left and the right. So when political debates fire up on Facebook, it's particularly annoying. All you want to do is see friends' pictures and learn what they're up to -- not eavesdrop on a debate over healthcare reform.

Possible solution: If you've got a friend who picks such fights in their status updates, you might be best off hiding them. You can still check in on them whenever you'd like, but you won't have opinions shoved down your throat.

5th Problem: Imported updates from Twitter

Why it's annoying: Tweets have their own language and shorthand, and if you're not familiar with the 140-character-or-less updates, it might look like someone had a hand spasm while typing. Facebook and Twitter are two entirely different services -- and forcing the two together feels like a poorly arranged marriage.

Possible solution: Once again, you're kind of stuck. Your best bet is to either embrace the language of the tweet -- or learn to selectively ignore posts.

6th Problem: No 'Dislike' button

Why it's annoying: A friend proudly mentions in a status update that she got a promotion. That's an easy thing to like. But what about when they announce they've been laid off? In its relentless drive to be cheery, Facebook hasn't given us the choice to quickly commiserate or disagree with someone.

Possible solution: There's an active lobbying effort to get Facebook to add a 'Dislike' button, with over 553,000 people members of a group specifically asking for one. Hopefully, the powers that be will listen to the protests.

7th Problem: People who 'friend' you too fast

Why it's annoying: Sometimes it's a person you've gone out with one time. Sometimes it's a coworker you only speak with occasionally. But odds are you've been 'friended' by someone you'd rather not have on your list. Technically, ignoring the request is an option, but that can create some real world tensions.

Possible solution: Your privacy settings can make this problem an easy one to conquer. You can block specific people from seeing status updates, photos and more by choosing 'custom' and black-listing them. Then, hide their updates from your news feed.

8th Problem: Stealth tagging

Why it's annoying: We all have horrifying childhood pictures or shots we wouldn't want to share with the world. Invariably, though, friends will post them as a joke of sorts and tag you. All of a sudden, that prom picture of you with acne, coke-bottle glasses, and a really bad perm is out there for everyone to see.

Possible solution: You can untag yourself, which prevents others from putting your name to the picture -- but in some cases, that's closing the barn door after the horse has run away.

9th Problem: Obvious celebrity marketing ploys

Why it's annoying: Celebrities love Facebook -- or so it would seem. But all too often, it's someone writing on their behalf (and often poorly). That doesn't stop avid fans from falling over themselves to 'like' every comment and chime in as part of the 'amen' chorus.

Possible solution: Unless you're sure it's actually the celebrity doing the updates, you'd often do better to just avoid the pages. After all, is it really that critical that you declare yourself as a fan?

10th Problem: Cryptic status updates

Why it's annoying: The status update reads: "John wonders why people act that way" -- and nothing more. What happened to John? Is he confused? Have his feelings been hurt? What on earth could lead to such a mysterious comment? Give context or shut up, John. With updates like this, you're only fishing for responses. Facebook is not your personal diary.

Possible solution: If John's an especially close friend, call him. If not, just ignore the vague thoughts. If he wants to discuss specifics, that's the time to talk.

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Clever Canadians

Darned clever, these Canadians!   
Due to the global war on terrorism, 
many terrorist organizations 
have had their finances frozen. 

Consequently, they have resorted to counterfeiting

The Canadians have decided to redesign their 
currency to prevent the radical Muslims from 
even touching it!  It is also hoped that 
this will have a positive effect on tourism.

Muslim terrorists have to kill themselves if they see a 
naked woman. Those Canadians always find the 
solution!  Must be the pure water up there 
in the North!

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Awful One Liners

  1. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine
  1. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
  1. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
  1. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
  1. Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
  1. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
  1. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
  1. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play
  1. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
  1. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
  1. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
  1. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
  1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
  1. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
  1. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  1. In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
  1. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
  1. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  1. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
  1. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
  1. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
  1. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
  1. Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
  1. Every calendar's days are numbered.
  1. A lot of money is tainted -  Taint yours and taint mine.
  1. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
  1. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
  1. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
  1. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
  1. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
  1. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.

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Popular Sayings Modified by the Internet

- Home is where you hang your @

- The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.

- A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.

- You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.

- Great groups from little icons grow.

- Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.

- C: is the root of all directories.

- Don't put all your hypes in one home page.

- Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.

- The modem is the message.

- Too many clicks spoil the browse.

- The geek shall inherit the earth.

- A chat has nine lives.

- Don't byte off more than you can view.

- Fax is stranger than fiction.

- What boots up must come down.

- Windows will never cease.

- In Gates we trust.

- Virtual reality is its own reward.

- Modulation in all things.

- A user and his leisure time are soon parted.

- Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

- There's no place like

- Know what to expect before you connect.

- Oh, what a tangled Web site we weave when first we practice.

- Speed thrills.

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Our Crazy Language

An oldie, but favorite...

Did you know that "verb" is a noun?

How can you look up words in a dictionary if you can't spell them?

If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know?

If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren't two houses hice?

If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

If you've read a book, you can reread it. But wouldn't this also mean that you would have to "member" somebody in order to remember them?

In Chinese, why are the words for crisis and opportunity the same?

Is it a coincidence that the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable?

Is there another word for a synonym?

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?

What is another word for "thesaurus"?

Where do swear words come from?

Why can't you make another word using all the letters in "anagram"?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

Why do people use the word "irregardless"?

Why do some people type "cool" as "kewl?"

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why do we say something's out of order when its broken but we never say in of order when it works?

Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

Why does the Chinese ideogram for trouble symbolize two women living under one roof?

Why does X stand for a kiss and O stand for a hug?

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?

Why don't we say "why" instead of "how come"?

Why is "crazy man" an insult, while to insert a comma and say "Crazy, man!" is a compliment?

Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

Why is it that no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple?

Why is it that the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary?

Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?

Why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Why is the plural of goose-geese, and not the plural of moose-meese?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

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Hospital Sign

A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying:

"Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous."

Underneath, a nurse had written:

"The last five are pretty risky, too."

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A River

In Washington State, a little north of Seattle, is a river called the Stillaguamish, but it wasn't always called that. It was originally named "Aguamish" after a local Indian tribe.

When Lewis & Clark finally made their way to the west coast they came to the Aguamish tribe and met the chief who told them what the name of the river was and gave them a tour of the area.

Years later Merriweather Lewis returned and met the Aguamish chief again and the subject finally came around to the river:

"Chief, I've been told that, because of so many white men have arrived in the area, many of the rivers are being renamed because they couldn't pronounce the names. Tell me, what is the name of your river now, please, " Lewis pleaded.

"Oh," replied the chief. "It's Stillaguamish."

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Deaf Frog

Sidney was a 14-year-old boy with an interest in the sciences. One summer day he started his own investigations. With his 12-year-old sister Sophie in tow, he caught a large bull frog in a local pond. Sidney started his experiment with the amphibian, and told Sophie her job was to write down the results of the experiment.
Sidney drew a line in the sand, placed the frog on the line, and prodded the frog with a small twig from the rear and shouted, "Jump, frog!" The frog jumped, and Sidney measured the distance. "12 feet...write that down, Sophie," he said. 

Next, he brought the frog back to the starting point and removed the frog's right front leg. Again he prodded the frog and shouted, "Jump, frog!" The frog jumped 10 feet, and on instruction, Sophie wrote it down.
Again the frog was brought back, the left front leg was removed, and again "Jump, frog!" Sidney reported, "Six feet...write it down." 

The next time, Sidney removed the large right back leg. "Jump, frog!" Then, he shouted "Jump, frog!" and prodded the frog. "The frog jumped 8 inches...write it down, Sophie." 

Finally, Sidney removed the frog's remaining back left leg, put it down and prodded the frog with the twig shouting, "Jump, frog! Jump, frog! JUMP FROG!! JUMP JUMP FROG!!!"
The frog didn't jump. Sophie looked at Sidney, and said, "So what should I write down?" 

Sidney thought a moment, then told Sophie to write, "When you remove all the legs from a frog, it turns deaf."

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