Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys. When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the research wanted a payback so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get their money back.
It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added the yellow colouring and sold it to people to use in place of butter. How do you like it? They have come out with some clever new flavorings…
DO YOU KNOW.. The difference between margarine and butter?
Read on to the end…gets very interesting!
Both have the same amount of calories.
Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams; compared to 5 grams for margarine.
Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.
Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods.
Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few and
only because they are added!
Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavours of other foods.
Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years .
And now, for Margarine..
Very High in Trans fatty acids.
Triples risk of coronary heart disease .
Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol)
Increases the risk of cancers up to five times..
Lowers quality of breast milk.
Decreases immune response.
Decreases insulin response.
And here's the most disturbing fact…. HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING!
Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC… and shares 27 ingredients with PAINT
These facts alone were enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance).
You can try this yourself:
Purchase a tub of margarine and leave it open in your garage or shaded area. Within a couple of days you will notice a couple of things:
no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something)
it does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value ;
nothing will grow on it. Even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not a find a home to grow. Why? Because it is nearly plastic . Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?
After graduating from the University of Illinois, where he played football in the Big Ten Conference, with a degree in Speech Communication, Ryan decided to spend six months in Australia and New Zealand to explore the outback and decide which career path he should follow. He initially moved to California years ago to pursue acting.
His passions include scuba diving, tennis, snowboarding, racquetball and most outdoor activities, and he spends a great deal of his non-working time taking acting classes. In addition to being an actor, the 6'3" athlete is a board certified personal trainer… More
The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
If the bank returns your cheque marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them.
Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 'ouncer'.
Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning their children's names.
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
The Mafia is laying off judges.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear !
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.
Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!
For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree.
Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th-hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.
Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.
Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted, and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh, amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.
Even if the male Santa did have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost in the snow and clouds, and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.
Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
- Men can't pack a bag.
- Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened, having to be seen with all those elves.
- Men don't answer their mail.
- Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men. Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance.
Little Johnny, Billy and Tommy were walking home from school one warm spring day. As they were cutting through the alleys and backyards, they happened to look through a hole in the fence of one of the yards where a woman was sunbathing in the nude.
As they looked through the hole, Johnny suddenly started to scream, left his friends and took off running for home.
The next day, as the three boys came home again, they found the same hole in the fence and started to watch the woman.
Again, after just a few minutes, Johnney started screaming and ran off quickly.
On the third day, the boys were peeping into the hole in the fence again after school, when Johnny turned around and started to run again.
But this time, Bill and Tommy grabbed him and demanded to know what was wrong.
Johnny replied, "My mother told me that if I ever looked at a naked woman, I would turn to stone...
And I started to feel a part of me getting awfully hard??? "
A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says:
SEX FROGS FOR SALE Only £10 each and comes with 'complete' instructions.
The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll take one!' As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the instructions!' The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her flat, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does exactly what she reads :- 1. Take a shower. 2. Splash on some nice perfume. 3. Slip into a very sexy nightie. 4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do. She does it all and quickly gets into bed with the frog . . . ..but she waits and to her surprise. . . . nothing happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset. She reads the instructions again and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, 'If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store immediately.' So, she calls the pet store and the man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions but the damn frog just sits there!' The man ... looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and sternly says:
'LISTEN TO ME... I'm only going to show you how to do this ONE MORE TIME!'
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice " I'd like to try the bet" After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.
But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?" The man replied "I work for the IRS."
A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else, whereas the other guys would only catch three or four a day. Sam would come in off the lake with a boat full. Stringer after stringer was always packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe. So the next morning the two met at the dock and took off in Sam's boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done.
Sam's approach was simple. He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to surface. Sam took out a net and started scooping them up. Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam. "You can't do this! I'll put you in jail, buddy! You will be paying every fine there is in the book!"
Sam, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another stick of dynamite. He lit it and tossed it in the lap of the game warden with these words, "Are you going to sit there all day complaining, or are you going to fish?"
I Want to Help: Abel N. Willin
Smart Beer Making: Bud Wiser
Genie in a Bottle: Grant Wishes
Fifty Yards to the Outhouse: Willy Makit and Betty Woant
Tinseltown Tales: Holly Wood
Ready...Set...: Sadie Word
Raising Flowers By Hand: Flo Wrist
Skunks in the Shrubbery: P. Yew
I'm Fine: Howard Yu
The Dead Of Winter: Jan Yuary
Mensa Man: Gene Yuss
Tear Up Those Betting Slips: Lou Zerr
Hollywood Gossip: Phyllis Zinn
Mexican Revenge: Monty Zuma
The German Bank Robbery: Hans Zupp
It's a fact of life that there are times when work simply isn't on our minds. We sit in our offices, our cubicles, our swivel chairs and our boardrooms and we think about how nice it would be to just be somewhere else. The urge to flee is a normal one, but sadly it's not one that most of us can afford to entertain -- at least, not without getting caught. Well, luckily, it doesn't have to be that way. There are many ways to safely dodge work, even if for a short time, that can be pulled off easily by just about anyone. These 15 methods of faking work aren't just easy, they can apply to just about everyone -- from the worker in the cube-farm to the telecommuting pajama-exec.
By Use of Gadgets
iPads are all the rage right now, and at around $500 for a base model, they're not obscenely expensive, either. If you're one of the many new (and happy) owners of this gadget, you'll quickly learn that it's very good at something that isn't exactly in the tech specs: It grabs attention. Take an iPad, open up some sort of work-related document, and simply meander around the office as you please. Just make sure you move from point to point in an intent fashion, so that any superiors will think that you're busily comparing notes with other employees.
Bring Your Own Internet Connection
Most office-workers are stuck with one computer and one screen to use. The screen is usually too small to effectively multitask, and the network is usually policed pretty heavily, with many of the most desirable sites blocked by the IT department. This situation doesn't lend well to aimless Internet-surfing. You can solve this by bringing not only your own laptop or netbook, but also by spending that extra chunk each month to get a mobile WiFi hotspot from your wireless carrier. Stash the hotspot somewhere around your desk, and use your own computer to do all the stuff you can't do on your work machine. Just be sure to keep the screen from the prying eyes of your boss.
It's amazing how many people still use basic phones nowadays, but if you've got a smart phone you're already a step ahead of the game. Smart phones are able to do many of the time-wasting tasks that larger computers are normally used for, but can do it much more stealthily. Their only real drawback is their size, and of course connection speed. Using your smart phone intelligently at work can help you get through an entire day without missing out on anything truly important -- like Facebook, Twitter, online comics, sports scores or Tumblr.
By Use of Software
Outlook and Email Scheduling
Nearly everyone in the modern world has had to use Outlook at some point, many on a daily basis. What most people don't know about this ubiquitous email suite is that it includes an option to schedule when an email actually gets sent. Why would this be useful for a slacker, you ask? Well, while this feature may seem like an obvious tool for overachievers, it can also be used by a time-savvy individual to make it appear to the entire company that he is still at work -- when he's actually been gone for half an hour. Learn how to use this feature and test it out next time you want to take that extended lunch.