Cover Letter Blunders


 
These are actual examples of job search stupidity provided by a friend of ours who’s a professional recruiter. Some of the specifics have been changed to protect the inept, but they’re proof positive that the economy isn’t solely to blame for today’s horrendous employment statistics.

   “If I could use one word to describe myself, it would be Team Player.”

   “My resume speaks for itself so I will not burden you with words.”

   “I have organized and conducted community service and missionary positions.”

   “I work an additional 10-15 minutes per week to perform administrative responsibilities promptly and accurately.”

   “I am interested in the Financial Analyst position. I currently work at Rusty’s Camper Emporium as the parking attendant.”

   “I have attended Champions School of Real Estate, because I am a champion.”

   “I can think and act simultaneously under intense pressure.”

   “I am known and respected in New York City and surrounding area.”

   “Although my grades are not the highest, I possess the ability to grasp difficult concepts rather quickly most of the time.”

   “I am looking forward to further discussing my qualifications and how I can be an asset to your company. Please contact me at bigassbooty@ifailmail.com anytime.”

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