From Jimmy Fallon . . . Referring to Prince William's Bachelor Party:


"It's gotta be weird stuffing money into a stripper's bikini
when every bill has a photo of your grandmother printed on it."

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.


The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.


Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.


Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.


Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

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