More the Bible According to Kids
The following statements about the Bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., bad spelling has been left in.)
- Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
- The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
- David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
- Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
- When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
- Then the three Wise Guys from the east arrived and found Jesus in the manager.
- Jesus was born because Mary had an Immaculate Contraption.
- St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.
- Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says do one to others before they do one to you.
- He also explained that "Man does not live by sweat alone".
- It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
- The people who followed Jesus were called the 12 decibles.
- The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
- One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
- St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached the holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
- A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
- Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
- The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
- David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
- Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
- When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
- Then the three Wise Guys from the east arrived and found Jesus in the manager.
- Jesus was born because Mary had an Immaculate Contraption.
- St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.
- Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says do one to others before they do one to you.
- He also explained that "Man does not live by sweat alone".
- It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
- The people who followed Jesus were called the 12 decibles.
- The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
- One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
- St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached the holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
- A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
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