50 Things Not to Say While Having Sex


01. Is it in yet?

02. Is that it?

03. You have to be kidding me

04. (phone rings) Hi? Oh, nothing special. You?

05. Am I supposed to pay you for this?

06. Should I call you tomorrow?

07. Oh mama, mama!!!

08. Oh daddy, daddy!!!

09. You look better in the dark.

10. Oh, this is much better than with my last boy/girlfriend.

11. I thought it was supposed to go into the other hole

12. Don’t tell my husband/wife

13. You have the bra as my mom (particularly bad if the girl says this ;)

14. This sucks

15. Could you hurry up a bit? I have to go to a meeting

16. I hope you’re not expecting a raise

17. I think this could make you get the job

18. Damn, is that all you know ?!

19. Did I mention I have herpes?

20. We have to get married now

21. Hurry up, the game is on in a few!

22. I’m hungry

23. I’m thirsty

24. zzzzzzzzzz

25. Are you trying to be funny?

26. Can you drop me off when you’re done?

27. Are those real?

28. Before I forget, I’m breaking up with you

29. What is that smell? Is that you?

30. You’ve never done this before?

31. WOW! I’ve never boobs like that! (and then start grabbing them)

32. Do you know what certain female spiders do after mating?

33. You sure look like your sister

34. Your mom’s pretty nice

35. What did you say your name was?

36. Do I really still have to be here in the morning?

37. Again? I had trouble staying awake the first time!

38. Owwww, and you had just started

39. You’re almost as good as a 9-year-old -- and I can know!

40. Don’t touch that!

41. You wanna order a pizza?

42. I think my dad is eavesdropping

43. Smile, you’re on Candid Camera!

44. Is there anything nice on TV?

45. Get your hand away from there!

46. I think the condom tore 10 mins ago

47. I knew you had a stuffed bra!

48. "Cover me guys, I’m going in!"

49. TIMBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!

50. The ceiling needs some white paint ;-)

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