Funniest Office Prank
THE SETUP
I'm notoriously hard to buy for. If I want something, I can't usually wait for a holiday and drop hints to get it. I just go buy it. So, in frustration, the girls in my office usually just get me tickets to a show, or dinner out with the wife for Christmas, in hopes it will keep their Christmas bonuses coming.
This past year one of them gave me a goat. Well not me, but some village in Zimbabwe actually got the goat. I got a notice of a nice gift in my name.
Also World Vision got my home address to spam the crap out of me. Gee thanks. I'd rather have the frigging goat. Them's some good eatun.
So with April Fool's Day here, I decided it's time to make sure this year I get the tickets to the show again.
So I just posted this note out on the office bulletin board:
So with April Fool's Day here, I decided it's time to make sure this year I get the tickets to the show again.
So I just posted this note out on the office bulletin board:
Now I'm hiding in my office with the door closed and my phone off the hook. I can hear them having heated whispered arguments. I'm getting ready to blast past them and go to lunch for a couple of hours. I may mumble something about going to my lawyer's.
THE PAYOFF
2:00 p.m. that day, I returned from my long lunch thinking they had probably all decided, as usual, that I was full of diaper bombs. So I wiped the grin off my face in the parking lot, got my game face on, and blew through the lobby and back to my office in a huff.
There was silence in the house.
To my absolute delight, ten minutes later a very apologetic looking secretary comes to my door and knocks softly.
"Um, Sir?" (She didn't really call me Sir, but this is MY article, damn it.)
"Yeah?"
"I'm the one who arranged your Christmas present. I have a call into World Vision. The person on the phone couldn't give me any info. They're supposed to call me back."
"Well I hope they have some kind of coverage for this."
"Do you think it's real?"
"My lawyer thinks so. This letter came from a real attorney's office. I just spent an hour this morning coming up with some sort of defense. This really sucks."
At this point I've pushed this about as far as I can without really destroying her. She is starting to brim. I sit there in silence and watch as she turns into one of those big eyed crying kittens that teen age girls put on their school subject notebooks.
THE PAYOFF
2:00 p.m. that day, I returned from my long lunch thinking they had probably all decided, as usual, that I was full of diaper bombs. So I wiped the grin off my face in the parking lot, got my game face on, and blew through the lobby and back to my office in a huff.
There was silence in the house.
To my absolute delight, ten minutes later a very apologetic looking secretary comes to my door and knocks softly.
"Um, Sir?" (She didn't really call me Sir, but this is MY article, damn it.)
"Yeah?"
"I'm the one who arranged your Christmas present. I have a call into World Vision. The person on the phone couldn't give me any info. They're supposed to call me back."
"Well I hope they have some kind of coverage for this."
"Do you think it's real?"
"My lawyer thinks so. This letter came from a real attorney's office. I just spent an hour this morning coming up with some sort of defense. This really sucks."
At this point I've pushed this about as far as I can without really destroying her. She is starting to brim. I sit there in silence and watch as she turns into one of those big eyed crying kittens that teen age girls put on their school subject notebooks.
But, being the heartless monster that I am, I decide I have to give the knife one more twist.
"My lawyer is going to want to get a deposition from you. He wanted me to find out who was behind it and get you to come to his office. I need you to go over there first thing...(at this point I look down at my desk calendar) on April 1st."
"Yes, sir (again, my article, shut up), I will be ..."
The light came on. Yep, April Fool's Day.
You know, my coffee has started tasting funny recently for some reason.
"My lawyer is going to want to get a deposition from you. He wanted me to find out who was behind it and get you to come to his office. I need you to go over there first thing...(at this point I look down at my desk calendar) on April 1st."
"Yes, sir (again, my article, shut up), I will be ..."
The light came on. Yep, April Fool's Day.
You know, my coffee has started tasting funny recently for some reason.
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