Golf


Lee Trevino: "You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work."

Unknown: "Golf is not a game, it's bondage. It was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins."


Hank Aaron: "It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course."


Lee Trevino: "I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced."


Sam Snead: "These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow."


Paul Harvey: "Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five."


Tommy Bolt, about the tempers of modern players: "They throw their clubs backwards and sideways, and that's wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have to walk any extra distance to get it."


Jimmy Demaret: "Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at."


Jack Lemmon: "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball."


Lee Trevino: "If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron."

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