Sarcasm

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth.

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

I like dogs too. Let’s exchange recipes.

16. If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I’ll put shoes on my cat.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

I’m not crazy, I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

Whisper my favorite words: “I’ll buy it for you.”

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

I’m just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.

Don’t worry. I forgot your name, too!

One of us is thinking about sex… OK, it’s me.

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

It’s sick the way you people keep having sex without me.

I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

You look like shit. Is that the style now?

MissBeGotten