The Pentagon decided one day that there were to many Generals, so they decided to offer early retirement to three of them.
They called Congress and asked them to vote on a method of determining each General's early retirement bonus.
After voting Congress decided that each man would choose two points of their body to measure between and then each man would be paid $10,000 per inch.
They called in the first General. He decide to have them measure from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet.
Upon measuring it to 6 feet, they paid him $720,000.
The next General, thinking a little bit more, stretched his arms above his head, and asked them to measure from the tips of his fingers, to the bottom of his feet. After measuring 8 feet, they paid him $960,000.
The next General, with a smug look on his face, asked them to measure from the tip of his penis to the bottom of his balls.
Congress decided to call in a medical officer.
The medical officer asked the General to drop his pants.
The medical officer lifted the General's penis to make the measurement, but instead he exclaimed, "Good God man, where are your balls!!"
With a smile the General said, "I left them in Vietnam."