A guy was sitting in a bar when a stranger walked up to him and asked, "If you woke up in the woods and scratched your butt and felt vasoline, would you tell anyone?" 

"Hell no!" the guy said. 

The stranger then asked, "If you felt further into your crack and pulled out a used condom, would you tell anyone?" 

The man said, "Of course not." 

"Wanna go camping?"

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