Sneaky's Daily Did You Know....? - Barmy Beliefs

In the wake of the deaths of her husband and daughter, California rifle heiress Sarah Winchester was told by a medium that their lives had been taken by spirits and that unless she built a mansion to house the spirits, she too would die.

Another stipulation was that the building work must never be completed and so for the next 38 years, right up until her death, Mrs Winchester feverishly added rooms to her house.

By the time she died in 1922, it had 160 rooms, 2000 doors, 10,000 windows, 47 fireplaces and miles of secret passages and corridors, many of which led nowhere.

She was also obsessed by the number 13. So she had her house built with 13 bathrooms, there were 13 hooks in every cupboard and 13 candles in every chandelier. In the sewing room, she insisted on there being 13 windows and 13 doors. There were even 13 parts to her will, which she signed 13 times.

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Sneaks Slip 'N Slang - DBS



Origin: American Slang

Definition: Dumb Bitch Syndrome.

Example: Your mom stole my liquor, she must suffer from DBS.

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Spooge's Spit Up - The Bible For Dummies


AMEN:

The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN:
1. Parish information read only during the homily.
2. Catholic air conditioning.
3. Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR:
A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Congregation to lip-sync.

HOLY WATER:
A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

HYMN:
A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.

RECESSIONAL HYMN:
The last song at Mass, often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

INCENSE:
Holy Smoke!

JESUITS:
An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams.

JONAH:
The original "Jaws" story.

JUSTICE:
When kids have kids of their own.

KYRIE ELIEISON:
The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.

MAGI:
The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER:
1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO.
2. The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.

PEW:
A medieval torture device still found in Catholic Churches.

PROCESSION:
The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass, consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.

RECESSIONAL:
The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass– led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RELICS:
People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS:
The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

USHERS:
The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.

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Spooge's Spit Up - Television Quotes


MTV is the lava lamp of the 1980's.
Doug Ferrari

Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.
Eric Sevareid

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959)

Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work.
Gallagher

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. Johnny Carson (1925 - 2005)

I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, Death, 1997

If there's anything unsettling to the stomach, it's watching actors on television talk about their personal lives.
Marlon Brando (1924 - 2004)

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Spooge's Spit Up - Our Town Is So Small...


Our Town Is So Small...

our city limits signs are both on the same post!

the City jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell

the McDonalds only has one Golden Arch

the 7-11 is a 3 1/2 - 5 1/2

the one-block-long Main Street dead ends in both directions

the phone book has only one page

there's nothing doing every minute

the ZIP code was a fraction

Second Street is in the next town over

there's no place to go that you shouldn't

a "Night on the Town" takes only 11 minutes

the mayor had to annex property to eat a foot-long hot dog

the New Year's baby was born in October

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Spooge's Spit Up - Shes So Blonde...


She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:

...she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
...she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
...she thought a quarterback was a refund
...she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
...she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.


She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...she thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools
...she thought General Motors was in the army
...she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats
...she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday
...under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."


She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...she tripped over a cordless phone
...she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate."
...she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
...at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here" she put "Sagittarius."
...she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.


She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:

...she studied for a blood test
...she thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train."
...she sold the car for gas money!
...when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead
...when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.


She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:

...when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved
...she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company
...if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless
...she thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening
...she had a shirt that said "TGIF" which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front"

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Sneaky's Daily Did You Know....? - Today In History...


On this date in . . .

1184 BC: The Greeks captured Troy after hiding inside a giant wooden gift horse.

1800: Congress approved a bill creating the Library of Congress.

1920: Presbyterian Sunday School teacher Eliza Hewitt died at age 69. She wrote the hymns "More About Jesus," "Sing the Wondrous Love of Jesus," and "Sunshine in My Soul."

1959: After nine years, television’s "Your Hit Parade" sang it final countdown. The final top songs were: #5 "I Need Your Love Tonight;" #4 "It’s Just A Matter of Time;" #3 "Never Be Anyone Else But You;" #2 "Pink Shoelaces;" and #1 "Come Softly To Me."

1959: The Drifters released what is believed to be the first rock recording featuring a string section: "There Goes My Baby."

1961: Bob Dylan made his first recording, playing harmonica on Harry Belefonte’s "Midnight Special." He earned $50 for the session.

1963: "Mr. Basketball," Boston Celtic Bob Cousy retired from the NBA. Then he coached Boston College to a record 117 wins and just 38 loses.

1969: Singer Paul McCartney announced that there was no truth to the widespread rumor he was dead.

1981: The IBM Personal Computer was introduced.

1992: In London Terry Cole balanced 220 cigar boxes on his chin for nine seconds and a new world record.

1992: Singer David Bowie and fashion model Iman were married in a secret ceremony in Switzerland. The wedding wasn’t announced until more than a week later.

1994: Madonna visited the San Antonio Spurs locker room to congratulate David Robinson on his 71-point game. As usual, Robinson was gracious.

2002: Singer Jewel broke her collarbone and a rib when she was thrown from a horse.

2002: A family in York, England, celebrated having their pet rabbit Colin home after spending $1,457 on four operations and brain surgery to save his life. A stray cat attacked nine-month-old Colin and one bite penetrated his skull causing an abscess near his brain. The owners said their 8- and 10-year-old daughters were determined to save Colin. The brain surgery worked.

2003: The U.S. reported North Korea had claimed to have nuclear weapons.

2005: Pope Benedict-16 was formally installed as leader of the Roman Catholic Church in ceremonies at the Vatican.

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Sneaks Slip 'N Slang - Good On Ya


Origin: New Zealand Slang

Definition: good job, good for you, way to go

Example: Good on ya for getting an A in chemistry.

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Sneaky's Daily Did You Know....? - Winged Wonders


The wandering albatross can glide for 6 days without beating its wings and can even sleep in mid air while gliding at 35mph. Its wingspan can reach 11ft - thats about twice the height of Tom Cruise.

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Sneaks Slip 'N Slang - La Esquela


Origin: Spanish Slang

Pronounced la es-KWAY-la.

Definition: Said after somebody just got made fun of.

Example: If Dan has big ears, and Tom said to him: Your ears are bigger than Dumbo's!
then somebody could say La esquela! OR if Tom said: Lauryn, you're an idiot,
then Lauryn could say I just got la esquela'd.

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Sneaky's Daily Did You Know....? - Trivial Pursuits


The World Flounder-Tramping Championships are staged in Scotland's Urr estuary. The flounder - a flat fish - lies on the bottom of the shallow estuary and buries itself in the mud when the tide goes out. Over 200 competitors wade chest-high into the water in bare feet, searching for the tell-tale wriggle of the flounder beneath their toes. The fish can be collected by hand or with a special spear, but must be alive at the weigh in.

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Sneaks Slip'N Slang - Moker


Origin: American Slang

Definition: an annoying thing or person

Example: That moker won’t stop asking me out for a date on Saturday.

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Sneaky's Daily Did You Know....? - Americana


The Boston Nation, a newspaper published in Ohio during the mid-19th century, had pages which were 7 and a half ft long and 5 and a half ft wide. It needed two people to hold it aloft for reading.

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Sneaks Slip 'N Slang - Javules


Origin: Unknown

Definition: the tiny granules of coffee bean at the bottom of the cup when you finish your cup of coffee

Example: In a desperate attempt to wake up before his early morning meeting, Boris consumed every drop of the espresso, even to the point of forcing his tongue deep inside the cup in order to savor every single javule.

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Spooge's Spit Up - A Very Nice Story



When girls don't put out!! This was written by a guy...

it's pretty damn smart.I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women withtheir heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says,

"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,

"No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?" I then said,
"Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

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Spooge's Spit Up - Be In Quick

There's a short-term offer available this month only - you can get a free BBQ grill from any of the following stores:

COUNTDOWN
PAK'N'SAVE
WOOLWORTHS
MITRE 10
BUNNINGS
K MART
NEW WORLD
WAREHOUSE

Comes with higher shelf which can be used for keeping things warm!


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Spooge's Spit Up - Stopped for Speeding

I GOT STOPPED FOR SPEEDING THE OTHER DAY

I THOUGHT I COULD TALK MY WAY OUT OF IT

UNTIL THE COP LOOKED AT MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT

One Sign You're Driving Too Fast........



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Spooge's Spit Up - Quite Remarkable Test

In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of Fruits on it.

They are:

A. Apple
B. Banana
C. Strawberry
D. Peach
E. Orange

Which fruit will you choose?

Please think VERY carefully and don't rush into it.
This is great, I was astounded!
Your choice reveals a lot about you!

Test results: Please SCROLL DOWN


If you have chosen:

A. Apple: That means you are a person who loves to eat apples
B. Banana: That means you are a person who loves to eat bananas
C. Strawberry: That means you are a person who loves to eat strawberries
D. Peach: That means you are a person who loves to eat peaches
E. Orange: That means you are a person who loves to eat oranges

I hope you find fulfillment in this new insight about yourself.
May it bring you peace and understanding, tranquility and all that other profound stuff.

Also I bet that right now you would like to find me and Kick my ASS!



Well, You won't find me...

because I am still hunting down the ASS who sent this to me...
Have a Purrrr-fect Day!



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Spooge's Spit Up - Crazy Photographer

This Is a case of a photographer photographing another photographer.
The following pictures were taken by Hans van de Vorst from the Netherlands at the Grand Canyon, Arizona . The descriptions are his own. The identity of the photographer in the photos is unknown.

I was simply stunned seeing this guy standing on this solitary rock in theGrand Canyon . The canyon's depth is 900 meters here.
The rock on the right is next to the canyon and safe.
Watching this guy on his thong sandals, with a camera and a tripod I asked myself 3 questions:

1. How did he climb that rock?
2. Why not take that sunset picture from that rock to the right, which is perfectly safe?
3. How will he get back?

After the sun set behind the canyon's horizon he packed his things (having only one hand available) and prepared himself for the jump. This took about 2 minutes.At that point he had the full attention of the crowd.

This is the point of no return.After that, he jumped on his thong sandals...The canyon's depth is 900 meters (3,000 feet) here.

Now you can see that the adjacent rock is higher so he tried to land lower, which is quite steep and tried to use his one hand to grab the rock.

We've come to the end of this story..

Look carefully at the photographer.

He has a camera, a tripod and also a plastic bag, all on his shoulder or in his left hand.Only his right hand is available to grab the rock and the weight of his stuff is a problem.

He lands low on his flip flops, both his right hand and right foot slip away...


At that moment I take this shot.



He pushes his body against the rock.

He waits for a few seconds, throws his stuff on the rock, climbs and walks away. Presumably to a bathroom to change his shorts.

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Sneaky's Daily Did You Know....? - Remarkable Reptiles and Amazing Amphibians


The female common toad sometimes suffocates under the sheer weight of lovers. Since there is always a shortage of femailes, the male desperately clings on to her back and may be carried around for several days before the eggs are laid. In the meantime, he has to fend off rival males eager to dislodge him. If a male is dislodged, others frantically climb onto the female, forming towers of up to tem toads. Even if the female does suffocate under this load, the males still hang on for a number of days while her body decomposes beneath them.

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Sneaks Slip 'N Slang - Vurp


Origin: Unknown

Definition: Vomit-burp, that special burp accompanied by a meal or last night's beverages.

Example: I had Mexican for lunch which means I can expect to vurp anytime now.

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Quasi's Fun Vids - Rush Hour Squeeze



Thanks to Agate the Dread Pirate Ninja for forwarding this on to me hehe

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Spooge's Spit Up - Funny Quotes


"A Redneck passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14."
Unknown

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it..."
Oprah Winfrey

"It's the friends you can call up at 4:00 a.m. that really matter…"
Marlene Dietrich

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."
Oprah Winfrey

"I was the first woman to burn my bra - it took the fire department four days to put it out."
Dolly Parton

"Don't tell anyone. I'm supposed to be dumb."
Former supermodel Helena Christensen admits she can speak six languages

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Spooge's Spit Up - Hospital Chart Notations



The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

The skin was moist and dry.

Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

The patient was prepped and raped in the usual manner.

Examination reveals a well-developed male laying in bed with his family in no distress.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.

Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

She is numb from her toes down.

Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.

While in the emergency room, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

The patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

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Spooge's Spit Up - Handbags


Have you ever noticed gals who sit their handbags on public toilet floors,then go directly to their dining tables and set it on the table?

Happens alot!

It's not always the 'restaurant food' that causes stomach distress.

Sometimes 'what you don't know will hurt you'!

Read on...

Mom got so upset when guests came in the door and plopped their handbags down on the counter where she was cooking or setting up food. She always said that handbags are really dirty, because of where they have been. It's something just about every woman carries with them.

While we may know what's inside our handbags, do you have any idea what's on the outside?Women carry handbags everywhere; from the office to public toilets to the floor of the car. Most women won't be caught without their handbags, but did you ever stop to think about where your handbag goes during the day.

'I drive a school bus, so my handbag has been on the floor of the bus alot,' says one woman. 'On the floor of my car, and in toilets.

''I put my handbag in grocery shopping carts and on the floor of the toilet,' says another woman 'and of course in my home which should be clean.

'We decided to find out if handbags harbor a lot of bacteria. We learned how to test them at Nelson Laboratories in Salt Lake, and then we set out to test the average woman's handbag.

Most women told us they didn't stop to think about what was on the bottom of their handbag. Most said at home they usually set their handbags on top of kitchen tables and counters where food is prepared.

Most of the ladies we talked to told us they wouldn't be surprised if their handbags were at least a little bit dirty. It turns out handbags are so surprisingly dirty, even the microbiologist who tested them was shocked.

Microbiologist Amy Karen of Nelson Labs says nearly all of the handbags tested were not only high in bacteria, but high in harmful kinds of bacteria.

Pseudomonas can cause eye infections, staphylococcus aurous cancause serious skin infections, and salmonella and e-coli found on the handbags could make people very sick.

In one sampling, four of five hand bags tested positive for salmonella, and that's not the worst of it. 'There is fecal contamination on the handbags' says Amy.

Leather or vinyl handbags tended to be cleaner than cloth handbags, and lifestyle seemed to play a role. People with kids tended tohave dirtier handbags than those without, with one exception. The handbag of one single woman who frequented nightclubs had one of the worst contaminations of all. 'Some type of feces, or possibly vomit' says Amy.

So the moral of this story is that your handbag won't kill you, but it does have the potential to make you very sick if you keep it on places where you eat. Use hooks to hang your handbag at home and in toilets, and don't put it on your desk, a restaurant table, or on your kitchen countertop.

Experts say you should think of your handbag the same way you would a pair of shoes. 'If you think about putting a pair of shoes onto your countertops, that's the same thing you're doing when you put your handbag on the countertops' - Your handbag has gone where individuals before you have sneezed, coughed, spat, urinated, emptied bowels, etc!

Do you really want to bring that home with you? The microbiologists at Nelson also said cleaning a handbag will help. Washcloth handbags and use leather cleaner to clean the bottom of leather handbags.

THIS IS WORTH SHARING!!!

AND MEN PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO YOUR WIVES, GIRLFRIENDS AND DAUGHTERS!

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Sneaky's Daily Did You Know....? - All Our Yesterdays


The tiny Pyrenean state of Andorra found itself fighting two world wars at the same time. Due to an oversight at the end of the First World War, Andorra's name was omitted from the Treaty of Versailles, meaning that the 11-man namtional army was still technically at war with Germany. When the Second World War broke out in 1939, it was all too much of a strain on the Andorran resouces. So the country hastily signed a private treaty with Germany, finally concluding the First World War.

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Sneaks Slip 'N Slang - Yuzzy


Origin: Music Slang

Definition: Describing someone given to the prevailing fashions of heavy metal: rock jerseys, really tight jeans, feathered hair, combs in back pockets, bandanas tied around thighs, untied high-top shoes, etc. The word is a play on yuppie or young urban professional, but stands for young urban ozzy because these folks tend to love Ozzy Osborn.

Example: This neighbourhood is being overrun by yuzzies. Just look at all the Camaros on bricks in these front yards.

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Sneaky's Daily Did You Know....? - Barmy Beliefs


John Lennon believed that the number 9 affected everything in his life. He and son Sean shared a birthday of 9 October. Future manager Brian Epstein first attended a Beatles concert at the Carvern in Liverpool on 9 November 1961 and clinched a record deal with EMI on 9 May 1962. The groups first record, "Love Me Do" was on Parlophone 4949. Lennon met Yoko Ono on 9 November 1966 and thought it was significant that their New York apartment was on West 72nd Street and their Dakota home was no. 72 (7+2=9). Similarly, he placed great store by the fact that, as a student, he had taken the no. 72 bus from his home to Liverpool Art College. This fixation sometimes manifested itself in his songs which included such titles as "Number 9 Dream", "Revolution 9" and "One After 909", written at his mother's house - 9 Newcastle Road, Wavertree. Lennon was shot dead by Mark Chapman late on the evening of 8 December 1980 in New York but the five-hour time difference meant that it was 9 December in Liverpool. His body was taken to the Roosevelt Hospital on Ninth Avenue.

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Sneaks Slip 'N Slang - Automagically


Origin: Web Speak

Definition: Something that automatically works but nobody knows why, especially used in reference to web design and development.

Example: We called him Magic Mike-- because so many things he did seemed to work automagically.But there was no magic at all.He just saw something the rest of us didn't.

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Spooge's Spit Up - Scary Psychological Test


Read this question, come up with an answer, and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No one I know has gotten it right - including me.

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, She believed him to be her dream and she fell in love with him right there but did not ask for his number and no matter how hard she tried shecould not find him.

A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?



Give this some thought before you answer.


(Scroll Down)
















Answer:

She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer.

Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly. If you didn't answer the question correctly - good for you.

If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off of my email list unless that will tick you off, then I'll just be extra nice to you from now on.

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Spooge's Spit Up - The Sweet Old Lady

NOW THIS IS SWEET, !!

All women should live so long as to be this kind of old lady!

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked,
'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'
80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question.
All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.'Mrs. Neely?';

'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?
'I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.

'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?'
'Ninety-eight.' she replied.

'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years And not have an enemy in the world?'

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:


'I outlived the bitches'

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Spooge's Spit Up - New Drugs for Women



DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out!

ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, 'You make me want to be a better person.

'BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.

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Sneaky's Daily Did You Know....? - Oddballs

Wealthy racehorse owner Dorothy Paget lived her life in reverse. She had dinner at seven o'clock in the morning, slept through the day (unless she was due at the races), and then got up for breakfast at 8.30pm. She then spent the night eating huge meals and telephoning her long-suffering trainers.

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Sneaks Slip 'N Slang - wwwzipitdotcom!



Origin: Unknown

Definition: Shut your mouth!

Example: Hey! Wwwzipitdotcom! You are being rude!

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Spooge's Spit Up - Amazingly Simple Home Remedies


IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE,
SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT.
PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.


AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES
BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.


AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT
USE THE SINK.

FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS
SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES,
THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS.
REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.


A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.


IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH,
TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES.
THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.


YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE
WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE.
IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40.
IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.


REMEMBER
EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.


IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER,
YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

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Spooge's Spit Up - True Love Never Dies

Read first !

The first is a still photo. The second is a video. There's no sound, but look at the picture first and then watch the video.

These 2 guys reared this lion from a baby in England but the authorities would not allow them to keep it once it reached maturity so they were forced to give it up, they took it back to Africa and placed it in a wildlife sanctuary, a year later they went to see it and were told it would not remember them...

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