This Blog Has Moved!!!
Sorry guys, this blog has now been moved to the following link:
Same great content, just different forum, come check it out and leave some feedback!
New Posts Coming Soon
Hey everyone, sorry there haven't been any new posts lately, but have been caught up with work and am taking a much deserved holiday, but don't despair, be rest assured that come the new year, there will be new and regular posts going up once again.
Sorry for any inconvenience, but after 4 years I needed a small break :-D
Cheers
Bitchy McWhore
KickAss Brownies
Spanish mommy blogger SandeeA has come up with a neat way to bake brownies inside an egg shell. Her site is in Spanish, natch, but you’re a cosmopolitan sort of guy/gal, so I’m sure you can figure it out.
(Here’s the Google Translate version in case you’re not a cosmopolitan sort of guy/gal, but would still like to bake brownies inside an egg shell.)
The Pick Pocket
After the birth of her new baby, my cousin brought him to my place for a visit.
While there, she decided to prepare dinner one night and the three of us went to the grocery store to get the things she needed. While she was shopping, I was holding the baby and slowly meandering through the place. A woman walked past me, knocked my purse from my shoulder, put her hand on my arm, looked me in the eye and said, "I'm sorry." I said it wasn't a problem and we each went on our way. When I told my cousin about it she insisted that I had just been hit by a pickpocket. I checked and found my wallet and keys were still in my purse. It wasn't until at work the next day that I discovered the missing item -- a sanitary napkin.
While there, she decided to prepare dinner one night and the three of us went to the grocery store to get the things she needed. While she was shopping, I was holding the baby and slowly meandering through the place. A woman walked past me, knocked my purse from my shoulder, put her hand on my arm, looked me in the eye and said, "I'm sorry." I said it wasn't a problem and we each went on our way. When I told my cousin about it she insisted that I had just been hit by a pickpocket. I checked and found my wallet and keys were still in my purse. It wasn't until at work the next day that I discovered the missing item -- a sanitary napkin.
As you may know, the Albuquerque housing market is becoming as tight as the one in Denver. My friend Chuck, after searching for months, found the perfect place. Family neighborhood, garden/lawn, etc. The problem was, he has a dog, and the landlord specified "No dogs."
Rather than go on searching, he decided to go stealth, and not tell the landlord about his dog (a golden retriever).All went well for months. Except for one thing: the family that lived downstairs had a rabbit that they kept in a cage in the garden area.
One day, the father of the family walked into the garden to find the dog scratching at the cage, trying to get at the rabbit. He immediately went to the landlord and complained.
The landlord threatened to kick Chuck out. But Chuck, being quite persuasive- and punctual with rent checks- convinced the landlord to keep him and his dog. On the condition that that Chuck keep his dog out of the garden area.
Months went by with no incidence. However, his girlfriend stayed home sick at his place one day. She, not knowing the garden rule, let the dog out.
Chuck came home and, to his dismay, found that the dog wasn't in the house. He opened the back door, and there at the steps was his dog. Dead rabbit in mouth. Needless to say, Chuck panicked. Not wanting to face certain eviction (and possible jail time), he took matters into his own hands.
He bathed the dead rabbit, blow-dried its hair (OK he was desperate) and carefully placed the rabbit back in the cage.
Natural causes, right? Nothing happened.
Natural causes, right? Nothing happened.
After an excruciating week, he finally approached his neighbor one morning on the way to work. "How is everything?" asked Chuck.
"We're moving" replied the man. "This is a sick neighborhood."
"Why? What happened?" replied Chuck.
The neighbor replied: "Some sick bastard dug up our recently deceased rabbit, washed it, combed its hair, and put it back in its cage."
Patriotic Toasts
"Here's to the Army and Navy, and the battles they have won. Here's to America's colors-- The colors that never run!"
"May the tree of liberty flourish round the globe, and every human being partake of its fruits."
"May noise never excite us to battle, or confusions reduce us to defeat."
"To her we drink, for her we pray, our voices silent never.
For her we'll fight -- let come what may, The Stars and Stripes forever."
"Here's to the Army and Navy, and the battles they have won. Here's to America's colors-- The colors that never run!"
"May the tree of liberty flourish round the globe, and every human being partake of its fruits."
"May noise never excite us to battle, or confusions reduce us to defeat."
"Soldiers have many faults, but they have one redeeming merit; they are never worshipers of force. Soldiers more than any other men are taught severely and systematically that might is not right. The fact is obvious. The might is in the hundred men who obey. The right (or what is held to be right) is in the one man who commands them." - Gilbert K. Chesterton
"The nation which forgets its defenders will be itself forgotten." - Calvin Coolidge
"An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep." - Arabian Proverb
"May the tree of liberty flourish round the globe, and every human being partake of its fruits."
"May noise never excite us to battle, or confusions reduce us to defeat."
"To her we drink, for her we pray, our voices silent never.
For her we'll fight -- let come what may, The Stars and Stripes forever."
"Here's to the Army and Navy, and the battles they have won. Here's to America's colors-- The colors that never run!"
"May the tree of liberty flourish round the globe, and every human being partake of its fruits."
"May noise never excite us to battle, or confusions reduce us to defeat."
"Soldiers have many faults, but they have one redeeming merit; they are never worshipers of force. Soldiers more than any other men are taught severely and systematically that might is not right. The fact is obvious. The might is in the hundred men who obey. The right (or what is held to be right) is in the one man who commands them." - Gilbert K. Chesterton
"The nation which forgets its defenders will be itself forgotten." - Calvin Coolidge
"An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep." - Arabian Proverb
Only in America
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
McGregor
Old Man: "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. Piled it for months. But do they call me McGregor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo.."
Then the old man gestured at the bar.
"Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days. But do they call me McGregor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man points out the window.
"Eh, Laddy, look out to sea. Do ya see that pier that sretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGregor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention.
"But ya fuck one goat . . . "
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