Showing posts with label Quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Quotes. Show all posts

Patriotic Toasts


"Here's to the Army and Navy, and the battles they have won. Here's to America's colors-- The colors that never run!"

"May the tree of liberty flourish round the globe, and every human being partake of its fruits."


"May noise never excite us to battle, or confusions reduce us to defeat."


"To her we drink, for her we pray, our voices silent never.

For her we'll fight -- let come what may, The Stars and Stripes forever."

"Here's to the Army and Navy, and the battles they have won. Here's to America's colors-- The colors that never run!"


"May the tree of liberty flourish round the globe, and every human being partake of its fruits."


"May noise never excite us to battle, or confusions reduce us to defeat."


"Soldiers have many faults, but they have one redeeming merit; they are never worshipers of force. Soldiers more than any other men are taught severely and systematically that might is not right. The fact is obvious. The might is in the hundred men who obey. The right (or what is held to be right) is in the one man who commands them."  - Gilbert K. Chesterton


"The nation which forgets its defenders will be itself forgotten." - Calvin Coolidge


"An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep." - Arabian Proverb

Digg It! Stumble Delicious Technorati Tweet It! Facebook Add To Reddit RSS Google Bookmarks Meneame


Too True


It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
- Rami Belson

"It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner."

---Ben Bergor

"I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me. "

- Unknown

"People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege. "

- Unknown

"Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it. "

- Unknown

"I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned "

- Unknown

"When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car. "

- Unknown

"I'm never wrong. I once thought I was wrong, turns out, I was mistaken. "

- Unknown

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."

- Whinnie The Pooh

"People that don't know me think I'm shy.People that do know me wish I were. "

- Unknown

Digg It! Stumble Delicious Technorati Tweet It! Facebook Add To Reddit RSS Google Bookmarks Meneame


Anger


Keep cool; anger is not an argument. - Daniel Webster 1782-1852, American Lawyer, Statesman

There is not in nature, a thing that makes man so deformed, so beastly, as doth intemperate anger. - John Webster 1580-1625, British Dramatist

As the whirlwind in its fury teareth up trees, and deformeth the face of nature, or as an earthquake in its convulsions overturneth whole cities; so the rage of an angry man throweth mischief around him. - Akhenaton BC -~1375, Egyptian King, Monotheist

Indulge not thyself in the passion of anger; it is whetting a sword to wound thine own breast, or murder thy friend. - Akhenaton BC -~1375, Egyptian King, Monotheist

We praise a man who feels angry on the right grounds and against the right persons and also in the right manner at the right moment and for the right length of time. - Aristotle BC 384-322, Greek Philosopher

How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. - Marcus Aurelius 121-80 AD, Roman Emperor, Philosopher

Digg It! Stumble Delicious Technorati Tweet It! Facebook Add To Reddit RSS Google Bookmarks Meneame


Mistakes


If we learn by our mistakes then I am getting a fantastic education.

Digg It! Stumble Delicious Technorati Tweet It! Facebook Add To Reddit RSS Google Bookmarks Meneame



Lucifer speaking. Who in hell do you want?

Me no here. Me go bye. Leave me message. Me reply.

Suicide Hotline...please hold.

Thank you for reaching out to us. Nobody is home now. However, if you leave a message, we'll reach out and touch you.

This answering machine message is for all you psychics out there... (Long silence...) BEEP

This is 321-1234, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzaria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though.

This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test. Janet Napolitano - Homeland Security

Digg It! Stumble Delicious Technorati Tweet It! Facebook Add To Reddit RSS Google Bookmarks Meneame


Lifes Little Mysteries

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life.
--Jimi Hendrix, Rolling Stone, December 2, 1976.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. - Carole Burnett

With all due respect to the world's great drummers - it ain't brain surgery. - Mickey Dolenz, 1996

Our bodies are just temporary vessels for our souls, which will go on forever. You really are an extension of the power that created the whole universe, no matter what drags you have on. - Ru Paul

If I hadn't been a woman, I'd have been a drag queen. - Dolly Parton

How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own? - -Zsa Zsa Gabor

Sexual harassment at work-is it a problem for the self-employed? --Victoria Wood

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? --Steven Wright

Digg It! Stumble Delicious Technorati Tweet It! Facebook Add To Reddit RSS Google Bookmarks Meneame


After Marriage


After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

--Hemant Joshi

Digg It! Stumble Delicious Technorati Tweet It! Facebook Add To Reddit RSS Google Bookmarks Meneame


Quote of the Day


"I like frogs because they get together in warm moist places and sing about sex."

Digg It! Stumble Delicious Technorati Tweet It! Facebook Add To Reddit RSS Google Bookmarks Meneame


Women


I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. [Wendy Liebman]

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. [Erma Bombeck]


If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. [Sue Grafton]


I'm not going to vacuum 'till Sears makes one you can ride on. [Roseanne Barr]


I think - therefore I'm single. [Lizz Winstead]


"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country." [Elayne Boosler]


"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman." [Maryon Pearson]


"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." [Gilda Radner]


"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career." [Gloria Steinhem]


"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." [Gloria Steinhem]

Digg It! Stumble Delicious Technorati Tweet It! Facebook Add To Reddit RSS Google Bookmarks Meneame


Character


Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open. - Elmer G. Letterman

A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents. - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799)


When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends. - Japanese Proverb


To succeed is nothing, it's an accident. but to feel no doubts about oneself is something very different: it is character. - Marie Leneru, Oprah Magazine, May 2004


Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

Digg It! Stumble Delicious Technorati Tweet It! Facebook Add To Reddit RSS Google Bookmarks Meneame


Education


A liberal education is at the heart of a civil society, and at the heart of a liberal education is the act of teaching.  - A. Bartlett Giamatti

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.  - Will Rogers


America is the best half-educated country in the world.  - Nicholas M. Butler


Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army. - Edward Everett


Every educated person is a future enemy. - Martin Bormann


I know a lot of people think I'm dumb. Well, at least I ain't no educated fool. - Leon Spinks


I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated. Al McGuire

Digg It! Stumble Delicious Technorati Tweet It! Facebook Add To Reddit RSS Google Bookmarks Meneame


Groucho Marx


Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.


I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.


I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.


I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.


I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.


I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.


I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Digg It! Stumble Delicious Technorati Tweet It! Facebook Add To Reddit RSS Google Bookmarks Meneame


George Carlin


Click image to Embiggen

Digg It! Stumble Delicious Technorati Tweet It! Facebook Add To Reddit RSS Google Bookmarks Meneame


Getting Married


Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends....
         You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

Digg It! Stumble Delicious Technorati Tweet It! Facebook Add To Reddit RSS Google Bookmarks Meneame


Male Perspectives on Marriage


I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." Henny Youngman


"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." Sam Kinison


"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." James Holt McGavran


"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't." Anonymous

Digg It! Stumble Delicious Technorati Tweet It! Facebook Add To Reddit RSS Google Bookmarks Meneame


Poor


It's not hard to tell we was poor --
when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the  clothesline.
    - George Lindsey

Digg It! Stumble Delicious Technorati Tweet It! Facebook Add To Reddit RSS Google Bookmarks Meneame