Drinking


Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
Catherine Zandonella


A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
W.C. Fields


Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
Lady Astor to Winston Churchill

Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
His reply


When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman


Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin


If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
Deep Thought, Jack Handy


Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry


The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Humphrey Bogart


Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
David Moulton

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