Does She Fake It?

If you’re over 25 years old then it’s a good bet that you’ve seen the café scene in ‘When Harry Met Sally’. So you know it’s possible for a women to fake an orgasm – convincingly; but what you may not have realised is that most women have, at one time or another faked an orgasm. But why do they do it and how can you tell if it’s happened to you?

Why Would She Fake It?

There are a number of reasons why a woman would fake an orgasm. The first is simply that she doesn’t want to hurt you ego when you’re unable to satisfy her in the sack – that’s right, she finds it easier to writhe around in pretend pleasure than tell you where you’re going wrong!

Alcohol can also cause women to fake orgasms – yes it lowers inhibitions but it also makes sexual arousal less achievable. And if the sex is with a new partner, she may decide to fake it when she realises the earth isn’t going to move for her, rather than risk him feeling inadequate.

Some men have unrealistic expectations and put pressure on their partners to come every time they have sex – and while feeling pressured isn’t likely to bring on the ‘big O’ (women need to be relaxed to climax) it is likely to awaken her inner actress!

Warning Signs

So how can you tell if your partner is faking it? It’s actually surprisingly difficult to tell the real thing from the imposter – but there are some tell-tale signs to look out for.

It’s probably not escaped your attention that when women are turned on they become moist down there – and a woman cannot fake that. So, if when you touch or kiss between her legs it’s bone dry - you can assume that she’s not turned on. If she’s making all of the right noises, it’s likely she is trying to speed up the sex and escape from your bed as quickly as possible.

If her orgasm comes right out of the blue and she seems to overact (you barely even got into your groove before she was screaming and moaning) then you’re either extremely talented or the chances are, you didn’t really rock her world.

As a women rides on the crest of an orgasm, a number of things happen that she can’t control; her breathing and heart rate increase, her body temperature rises, she might become flushed in the cheeks and on the chest, her nipples become erect, the clitoris swells, the lips of the vagina darken in colour as they are engorged with blood, and she loses control (hence the orgasm face). As she comes you may even be able to feel her vagina contracting around your penis. If, however, she remained cool, calm and collected throughout, and didn’t even break a sweat, it’s likely that you are in the presence of an actress!

There are also signs directly after the climax - women usually look slightly dazzled after a knee trembler and will want to stay close and cuddle or fall asleep – so if she jumps right out of bed and starts cooking, cleaning or watching her favourite TV show, there’s a good chance that what you witnessed wasn’t the real deal.

So what should you do if you suspect that your partner is faking it? Open up the communication airwaves. Don’t accuse her of anything but try to find out if she fakes her orgasms with you and if she does, why. Let her know that she doesn’t have to do that and that you want her to get as much pleasure from your sexual relationship as you do. Tell her that you are willing to learn how to please her and admit that you realise that she won’t climax every time you have sex. Honesty is the best policy – otherwise how are you supposed to know if the sex is on fire or if she is just puffing smoke?