Golf


These greens are so fast, I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
Sam Snead


I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.
George Brett


Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.
Jim Murray


The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
Mickey Mantle


Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.
Kevin Costner


I don't fear death..., but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
Chi Chi Rodriguez


After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
Chi Chi Rodriguez

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