Top 10 Signs You are on a Lame Spring Break


10. Your hotel room offers a breathtaking view of the Persian Gulf

9. The package is 5 days, 2 nights


8. Closest thing you get to a sunburn is a rash from the hotel linens


7. Instead of a wet t-shirt contest, there's a less satisfying "wet hat" contest


6. Limbo stick looks an awful lot like a human femur


5. Difference between the presidential suite and a regular room? Free Q-Tips


4. Ask where to take a swim, the concierge suggests mall fountain


3. The bed in your room is not a water bed but it's awfully damp


2. Conga line ends at Scientology Center


1. Most action you got was when mom kissed you goodbye

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